Gettysburg Address - November 19, 1863

One of my favorite DC things to do was take a good power walk around the Mall. Around halfway I'd charge up the Lincoln Memorial stairs, elbow some tourists out of the way, and detour left to the text of the Gettysburg Address. I'd lean against the second column from the front, pause my ipod, and mouth the words start to finish. The richness and relevancy of these words give me chills.

Some texts can't come alive until you say them aloud; until you feel the rhythm of delivery...

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate... we can not consecrate... we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain - that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that government: of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

TIME time time time

Thanksgiving! -- 11 days 17 hours, 31 minutes, 12 seconds
Done with Prereqs! -- 33 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes, 22 seconds
Happy Birthday Jesus -- 40 days, 17 hours, 29 minutes, 37 seconds
New Years in Madison! -- 45 days, 7 hours, 28 minutes, 8 seconds
Sawadee Thailand! -- 54 days, 4 hours, 25 minutes, 41 seconds
Take the GRE -- 79 days, 1 hour, 24 minutes, 23 seconds
UIC Application DUE! - 106 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes, 9 seconds

Happy Birthday Kevin Carey!

(Kev on the far right)

Kevin is my first friend in the whole world and I think that fact has meant more to me this year than it has any year before it.

A list of 26 things I admire about Kevin in no particular order:

1. Kevin is competitive in a good way. (It has taken some years to smooth out the edges on this one but you did it Kev!)
2. Kevin is a great listener. He doesn't just nod his head and agree with what you're saying - he thinks about it and will ask you to elaborate if he doesn't understand.
3. Kevin uses his hands in a very distinct way when he talks - especially in front of people - it's really cute.
4. Kevin is well-read.
5. Kevin makes the best BBQ salmon ever. Also shrimp but the salmon has an edge for some reason.
6. Kevin is still holding strong with his love for powdered or chocolate doughnettes after all these years.
7. Kevin writes and plays music and is in a band that's even on itunes.
8. Kevin totally hit the marriage jackpot with Rach.
9. Kevin makes meaningful friendships with nice people (which benefits me directly b/c I in turn get to be around them)
10. Kevin can eat whatever he wants and will still be a beanpole for his whole life (hey this is about things I admire, remember!?)
11. Kevin developed great personal style in college and wears it well.
12. Kevin has a sincerity and humility I think only found in people who have gone through the ringer. He could have chosen to be hardened and angry. Instead he's sincere and humbled. Maybe this should have been the number one thing I admire.
13. Kevin loves him some Jesus and Jesus lovvvvvvvvves him some Kev.
14. Kevin's biggest vice I'm aware of is he smokes cloves. Pretty good for a biggest semi-public vice. Plus, I like enjoying a good clove with him. (Linda and Lee if you're reading this just cool your jets... it's only once in awhile after heavy dinner conversation that needs some porch time follow up!)
15. Kevin is a new blogger! Check out re:birth here.
16. Kevin lets Rachel call him "Snugs" in public with little to no protest.
17. Kevin is fantastic at that crazy weird rabbit wii game where you sit on the board and sled down the slopes. He doesn't even get hung up when you "sabatoge" him with snowballs.
18. Kevin indulges my attempts at being philosophical and/or theological.
19. Kevin also indulges me when I'm being girly or wanting "the scoop" on someone's relationship. He does this by passing me off to Rach haha.
20. Kevin is such a learner! He wants to know a lot, see a lot, experience a lot, etc. His enthusiasm for new stuff is contagious!
21. Kevin is a beloved uncle, brother, and son.
22. Kevin is a loving uncle, brother, and son.
23. Kevin takes criticism well. I kept bugging him that he never responds to my emails or texts quickly enough and there has been a real improvement in that area since I filed my complaint.
24. Kevin is a straight man who loves Glee and isn't ashamed to say so.
25. Kevin appreciates the value of a good nap.
26. Kevin loves God and loves people in a profound way that goes beyond his 26 years of learning how.

Love YOU Kev - Happy Birthday!

Patrick's Visit!

After getting multiple "LAZY!!!!" comments and disappointed text messages from Patrick about me not updating my blog to about the "life changing week he visited" I am FINALLY getting my ducks in a row and posting oodles of pictures from his visit!

We spent the first few days in San Francisco! The first night in we went for drinks at the Cliffhouse which overlooks the ocean and has AMAZING sunset views. Patrick found a friend there...

Then my worlds collided when Patrick met Nibbles! Nora was a wonderful hostess for dinner, drinks, and an overnight at her apartment.

So good of a hostess, in fact, that she managed to find a bar (the oink oink wheeeeeeeee) with sumo wrestlers so now Patrick thinks this is a normal SF occurrence.

Of course Patrick and I started the next day reading at a coffee shop for a few hours before heading over to the Golden Gate Bridge. The WHOLE time leading up to the trip Patrick had this vision of exactly what his Golden Gate picture would be. Facebook profile worthy, perhaps. But we got there and alas... SF fog strikes again...

Bah. He still KINDA got one in!

What you can't tell about this picture is we are at Pier 39 in front of the smelly sea lions. What you CAN tell about this picture is that my arm looks awesome.

Patrick Kelly! Welcome to the mothership!

His and Hers Happy Hour Twofers!

Alas I have left out all of our Napa wine tasting pics. No great ones to share - but we had a gorgeous Napa day with my dad. Took Patrick mostly around the Silverado Trail - to Luna, Stagg's Leap, and Silverado. Also had DELICIOUS "California" sandwiches at Oakville. That night we went out to dinner with my sister's family at the club and then headed up to Tahoe for a few days!

Patrick + Carrie + Tahoe = Perfection. For me, Tahoe is coffee drinking and reading all morning, maybe doing a long work out in the afternoon, and either making or going out for dinner and watching tv by the fire at night. Extremely slow paced, quiet, and productive. No one understands coffee and reading time like Patrick. And now, no one understands coffee and reading and Tahoe time like Patrick :)

Ok, ok... perfection in Tahoe also includes wine or beer at Sunnyside...

Patrick stuck around long enough to celebrate my birthday! I'm not a big blow out birthday kind of person at all, but I seriously had one of the best days this year. We started by picking out a hike to do up off Skyline Drive in the Oakland hills through a redwood grove. SO pretty and just a great day for a hike...

Oh hey.

Dad set us up for massages after the hike which were AMAZING of course. Both of us passed out I'm pretty sure. Then we raced back to the house for my birthday BBQ. Such a fun, silly bunch - longtime family friends, Kev and Rach, Patrick, Geo and Ingrid, the Wassells, Meg... I'm so glad Patrick was there to meet everyone since I have been able to meet so many equivalent figures in his life in Madison.

THIS picture makes me laugh to no end. You go Hannah!

Worlds colliding again!

Aww Meg you look so cute in this pic. You too Patrick, you too.

Ok - haha - I KNOW Patrick is going to cut me for including this picture but I could NOT resist. I guess this explains why you and Meg were just a notch above the rest by the end of the night, eh?

Ending on a cute note... AWW! We are SO cute! We do the best self-takers (well... Patrick does the best self-takers but I help by looking cute and angling my head just so). I think it's fair to say there are few people you actually can spend 10 days with and not want to kill yourself at some point before they leave. Perhaps even rarer would be someone you want to spend 10 days with and put in a bunch of different environments with different people and know they can be so versatile and flexible and wonderful with everything. But that's my Patrick :)

DC Visits

I had TWO DC visits in September after 7 months of being away... The first was for Phil and Tiff's wedding!! Such a great way to spend quality time with some of my favorites. It was a very relaxed just have fun kind of wedding - so reflective of Phil and Tiff as individuals and couple!

Loving Tiff's dress!

Pretty lanterns and colors during the first dance :)

Phil and Tiff spent hours upon hours HAND MAKING the centerpieces at each table. I was VERY excited about them as you can see. So excited that I felt it appropriate to take them out of their vases and do a photo shoot, I guess...

Apparently I was not the ONLY one who thought that was a good idea thank you very much!

Cute one of Liz and I

Group Shot! (You have no idea how difficult it was to get this... Drew kept screwing up every single one and all I wanted was a nice picture of the group for goodness sake. I concluded that Drew was no longer going to be included in group pictures and let him know that this was due to his lack of "original group" status and disrespect for my group shot attempts.)

Great to see everyone that weekend. Even the part when Muffin threw a pillow that knocked a full beer over onto Sean's pants resulting in disgruntled Sean and un-remorseful Muffin. Also the repeated wake up calls called in to Callanan and Lamme's room. I had nothing to do with that, but it's good to know some things never change.

Second DC trip in September was for Secretary Bodman's Portrait Unveiling! It was SO great to see the old DOE crew. Oh how I miss them (them, YES! the time and energy involved... errrrr, no). I loved hearing about what everyone is doing now and just laughing with old friends and getting the dirt about what's going on in Washington now. The Secretary's portrait turned out SO well, don't you think? Makes me miss it all... just a little ;)

Rach and Kev

FIRST - You have GOT to check out Jedd Goble's video montage of the day - it is FANTASTIC! Here's the link.

What you might see in a newspaper announcement:

On Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 Rachel D'Aun Goble of Pleasanton married Kevin George Carey of Lafayette surrounded by many loved ones on a gorgeous evening at Wente Vineyards in Livermore. There is some debate over how they first met, but either way it is clear the couple are very much in love and make a fantastic pair. Kevin and Rachel plan to honeymoon in Italy and Thailand.

The real deal:

The rehearsal dinner was O-mazing. Just a really fun night at Postino thanks to fantastic planning by Linda and MC'ing by Chuck. Lots of funny and heartfelt toasts. Kevin turned sheet-white when I got up there and admitted to embarrassing things about us as kids and he wasn't sure what was going to come out of my mouth. HA! I'm laughing to myself thinking of that exact look on his face.

The day of the wedding all the girls met at D'Aun and Roy's house and did all the pretty princess things like hair and makeup and nails and giggles and gossip. And of course... what's a pretty princess party without food and a bride looking so - um - gorgeous?...


Haha ok was that a mean way to first show off the bride? Well if you had watched the video link it wouldn't be the first you saw now would it!? So unfortunately this is the part of the story that was heartbreaking. Even dudes get why this is the worst thing that can happen to a bride on her wedding day (next to the groom ditching out, I guess... that would have been worse huh Rach?). Ok so here is Rachel first getting on her gorgeous dress at Wente so she can take some pictures and then see Kev. We're all right on schedule at this point...

Notice Rach and D'Aun's faces... something is not quite right. The conversation went something like this:
Bridesmaid Chorus: Oooh, Rachel! Stunning. Love it! Amazing, Gorgeous!
(Dress not quite zipping up, people adjusting it on her to get her to fit just right in it so it will zip...)
Rachel: This is not my dress.
D'Aun/Jen/Bridesmaid Chorus: Nooooo. No, no. That's silly. This is your dress! This is totally your dress. This is your dress, right?
Rachel (still totally composed): This doesn't feel like the dress I tried on in the last fitting. I really don't think it's my dress. The size on the tag is smaller than the one I ordered.
Bridesmaid Chorus: ....... !(@*$@&^@!)(!@*!#&*%$*!(!(!*@*&

And then panic mode ensued involving Clarissa's Couture in Walnut Creek being called multiple times (It was Sunday! They were closed! No emergency number!) and my mom marching down there and banging on the door and asking nearby businesses for backup cell numbers of the Clarissa's people... nothing. A prayer circle began around Rach when the realization that they had given her the right dress fitted for some other bride set in but really... the girl just needed to see Kev. So Kevin (now on Wente grounds also) was summoned into the girls room and marched dutifully in to comfort a still-keeping-it-together-but-a-teensy-bit-emotional Rachel. Rach was a whole new happy girl hand in hand with Kev after that and a fun wedding party toast really kicked off the party :)


Ah, but what did we end up doing about the dress you ask? So the wedding coordinator ended up tracking down a seamstress on her day OFF who raced over and literally LITERALLY sewed Rachel into the dress she had by adding a panel to the back of it and doing a really cool crisscross weavy kind of thing to make it look fantastic. And it did, it looked wonderfully fantastic. Here's a happy Rach patiently getting sewed into her now-custom designed dress...


And then the rest of the day... man... it was just FUN. Rachel's creativity and vision and style came alive in the venue. The boys standing before guests arrived looking at everything gives you a sense of what it all looked like...

Announcing for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Carey! (Love that Emily is giving a big hallllllelujah! haha)

Love this one of the ladies in their post-vow sunglasses. Especially the little girls - the looked SO cute!

Awww... first friends :) Oh ya - forgot to add that Kevin FORGOT the marriage license at home so I made a run and get it in the middle of the reception. What are first friends for?

We danced the night away (which clearly I don't have good pictures of since the camera would have inhibited my hot dance moves!) and all too soon, it was time for Kev and Rach to hightail it OUTTA there in Roy's old Ford that was sufficiently dressed up with streamers and a "just married" sign.

What you don't know or won't read in a paper:

There was something so spiritually RIGHT about this wedding. There was not an un-ugly cry to be found when Rachel walked down the aisle towards Kevin. I have a softness in my heart and fresh happy tears in my eyes when I think about the Goble-Carey wedding because it was - it REALLY was - a blessed day where two very well loved and cherished people in their own right became one very well loved and cherished couple.

I Eat Stories Like Grapes

It took me all Summer to get through East of Eden for two reasons:
1. I forgot it in the back seat of my car before a trip and had 750 pages worth of distraction by a Harry Potter I picked up at the airport as a substitute.
2. From the very first page, I knew it could be one of the very best novels I ever read. So I allowed myself to slow down my eyes, quiet my mind, sit with each chapter, and marinate in its deliciousness.

If you read East of Eden (or should I say WHEN you read East of Eden), may I recommend the Centennial Edition pictured above? It has those serrated and offset pages that feel sacred against your fingertips.

I'm finding it difficult to summarize why I loved it. Or make a pitch for why YOU will love it. Perhaps there are too many possibilities to package. For me, it was the familiarity of the Salinas Valley setting. It was the complexity and honesty and under-explanation of the characters. It was so much history in english. And many, many things in between.

The wonderful thing about East of Eden is almost without exception (I've found one so I have to say "almost"), everyone who finds out that you are reading it clasps their hand over their chest and exhales a huge "OHHHHHHH my god. What part are you at?! Can you believe how evil Kate is?" No actually, I can't believe it. Her sharp little teeth are my favorite representation of her inherent evil. And speaking of, IS she inherently evil? If one of the central messages of the novel is "thou mayest" then she must have chosen that evil right?

"Maybe I will tell you some time when I can tell and you want to hear."
"I'll want to hear," Samuel said. "I eat stories like grapes."
"A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid anymore."

Shane and Carissa McLean!

Writing their names out like that makes me even more happy than I imagined it would. Shane and Carissa said their "I do's" last Friday, August 21st. They held the ceremony and reception at this really neat mountain home in Boulder, Colorado on an absolutely perfect night.

Unfortunately my camera battery didn't make it through the whole night so I didn't end up with many pictures, but here are a couple highlights... 

Oh Carissa, you are lovely beyond words.

You may kiss the bride, man!

This one is for Big Wiz, who is definitely the most likely to ask about the food and cake :)

My camera held out just long enough for one with the bride and groom - Yay! (Yes, I'm wearing the same dress as I did to Erica's wedding AND to Staff Ball in DC. Shut up.)

It was a very quick trip - I flew into Denver on Friday morning and out Saturday afternoon but I am just SO glad I was able to make it. I was thinking about how with people you know are going to be your friends forever, the meaning behind being present for something as huge as a wedding is going to grow exponentially as we get on through the years. 

And there will be many sweet years to come for these two :)

Baby Don't Ya Wanna Go...

...back to that same ol place SWEET HOME CHICAGO.

When I was in Madison I caught wind that the FRENCHIES were going to take Chicago by storm along with an epic gaggle of DC gays for Market Days. Well I simply could not have them having all the fun without me so I rationalized that I needed to take a trip there to meet with the NP program I want to get into anyway and bought a ticket I couldn't afford.

There were SO many people in town! It was like every time I turned around in the bars there was another DC person I wasn't expecting. They practically transplanted Logan Circle to Boystown. It was glorious! 

We did have to get some touristy things in of course, so we went to the top of the Sears Tower (or Willis Tower now apparently). It was a miserable two hour wait to get to the top, but once we did the photo shoot ensued. 

They have these cool see-through boxes coming off the side of the building that you can sit/lay/stand in and look straight down the billion floors under you. It's really exhilarating actually! Here's Luis, Bobby, and David "falling" down to the city streets...

Walking on air!

Ah I just love this picture. I need to frame it. HOTT.

This is the scene from our little VIP area we made for ourselves on the sidewalk looking out on Market Days 2009. It was CRAZY! GREAT dance music, by the way. We found ourselves saying "Why don't we always party outside like this!?"

Too cute we are :)

By FAR the BEST picture of the whole day if you ask me.

Each night brought with it a different adventure and I literally saw the sunrise more in those few days than I have in probably five years. Ridiculousness, of course, but it was just no time to be sleeping! The last night we were there was Madonna-Rama at one of the clubs and we were all like completely exhausted from the weekend so everyone was kinda tuckering out and the boys asked me if I was ready to go. They are used to me being like YES let's GO and this time I looked at them and in all seriousness was like "I am NOT leaving until I hear Like a Prayer." I was resolute. So we waited around for another hour or so for it to be on and then performed it aggressively on the dance floor. Love it. 

Not surprisingly, Patrick and I still managed to get ohhhhh about 20 hours of coffee shop reading time in. I even discovered this great used bookstore on Broadway and injudiciously bought a "Complete Works of Winnie the Pooh" that was screaming my name. Actually, speaking of Patrick - you will notice he is not in ANY of these pictures. THAT'S because he hasn't given me the pictures off his camera from that weekend yet. Lame. (Patrick seriously, I want those cute ones of us on the bed that we had a good giggle over (ooh that could be interpreted badly haha). Also the "GET YOUR ARMOR" ones too! OMG! I want to see those right now!)

Oh! Also noteworthy - Kathryn and I had breakfast for dinner at a great little neighborhood gem of a diner near Clark and Belmont (look at me with all my Chicago street knowledge!) AND Patrick and I both had flights out of ORD at about the same time so we went and actually met up with Stef and Tricia who were passing through on their way to Australia so we had a little pow-wow with them before leaving town right in the middle of Terminal B.

Damn I love that city. I can't wait to call it home. If only everyone who was there that weekend would do the same :)

Tragedies Abound

Terrible things are happening to dear friends. 

This is to be expected when we are lead through a world that's not our home. I stole that line.

Is the shock value in all of it a result of being young? In another 25 years will I be less shocked, less devastated?

I want to unapologetically talk about some things I'm thinking about. 

I'm feeling really overwhelmed by all of the things that are going right. My body is functioning as it should be. Being a student of anatomy right now makes that realization more remarkable than ever before. It is more apparent than ever that we hang in a delicate cradle of grace with anything related to our bodies. I am so glad I am starting to understand that reality. 

Jacob wrestled with God. Do you bible scholars ever think about that? He WRESTLED with GOD. Genesis 32 right? We really are left with no details of that exchange. We can suggest that it had something to do with Jacob's guilt over his past with Esau but even then... not really. Of all the things to wrestle with God about and it's about Esau? I don't know, I just... am not convinced it was reduced to just that. But we don't know and we won't. We only know that it happened. And what I take is this... Wrestling with God doesn't mean we deny him. It doesn't mean we turn away. It doesn't mean we don't trust or love or thirst or deny. Wrestling is another form of exchange. Of balance. Of understanding. Oh God won't you give me a kernel of understanding after this match is finished? 

I'm overjoyed by the liberation that comes with true faith. No play acting, no apologetics, no censorship. I'm gritty! I'm crass! I'm immature! I'm provocative! I'm unconventional! I'm grounded. And oh, my roots are growing deep with every drink.

I see my need for external validation peeling away one layer at a time. I'm not sure why this is important yet but feel that it must be. 

Friends, we must talk to friends in crisis with the same persistence we do in peace. We must approach them with confidence and care and compassion. Now is not the time to be silent! Be bold with your friends. Always.

Thankful and angry. Certain and shaken. Uplifted and off-base. 

I remain,

Confidently humbled. 

Today I'm Thankful for...

Being too lazy all week to take the picnic blanket out of my trunk... Without knowing it was still back there, I would not have detoured up to the Mission and siesta'd for a glorious bee-hummed hour by the rose garden. 

Hand-delivered soy au laits, wahoo's tacos, and frozen yogurt.

Little imaginations that can make a cartoon-like character out of any plastic object. Little mispronunciations like PO-sha, doe-fin, hay-ulp. Little misunderstandings like small intestines being referred to as 'small intesticles.' 

Gavin DeGraw channel on Pandora. 

84-degree, no humidity, no bug, mid-July California summers. 

Health. 

Clever greeting cards that elicit an in-store giggle.

2nd Annual Summer Trip to Madison

I think it quite appropriate to make this a photo-heavy post. Madison trips are always a whirlwind. Jam packed with food and beers and putt-putts around the lake and me complaining that no one ever teaches me euchre and 867-5309 finger attempts and Wisconsin Fantasies coming true in the Corn Toss Tournament.

First... PATRICK! UGH it had been six months since I had seen him. Six awful - just AWFUL - months apart! I am pleased to report we slowly chipped away at the laundry list of serious conversations (role of "T" in the GLBT, monogamy, metaphysical body) we had been waiting to discuss and are sufficiently caught up. Linda caught multiple pictures of us being excluge but... well... that's nothing new and not going to change ha.



Night one we had a delicious dinner at Old Fashioned with Bill and Melissa - many a Spotted Cow, Big O, and cheese curds that disappeared in under 3 minutes. Not that I'm admitting to the crime. Then we met up with the Waubesa crew at Christy's. Here is some hilarity from that night with Cory, Eric, and Kelli...

An unplanned yet perfectly coordinated "up high" and "down low" by the brothers...


Aggressive fist pumping happens early at Christy's...


Yipes, Patrick. Patrick - 0, Cory - 1.


Look at their faces in this pic! Classic. Love that this is caught on camera.


Day Two! The weather was not as sexy as Cory's outfit so Rhythm and Booms got postponed until the next day. UGH! Ruined the plan! We were bummed, but we had a great fun day around the house and on the boat anyway :)


Farrah found a friend! Flo tried to convince everyone the fanny is coming back because she read that Madonna was wearing one in Africa or something. Really, Madonna? Could you not further embolden Flo?


Brothers don't shake hands... brothers cuddle.


No trip to Madison is complete without Flo and Bugs. We got into the forrest in like four spins and made tree-sitty-fo (as opposed to Flo's previous forrest showing of only sitty-two).

Corn Toss Tournament day just might be one of the best - if not THE best - day of the year. Better than Christmas I daresay. Here I am ready for the day with my Wisco/Sconi (or whatever it is you want to shorten it to) mug. Patrick didn't like the handle but I felt I had to overcompensate for my non-resident status.

 

We draw partners through matching cards... here's Team Stefatrick talking pre-game strategy.

"Hey, you wanna take a picture of your biggest fan?"

I love how you can scan this picture and see about a thousand little things that are going on (ie Josh and Chris gossiping like little girls by the bracket, Emily and Laurie shooting the breeze, Patrick giving a side five after a good toss... and is that Flo I spy back there social butterflying around?)

CLCTT Commissioner Cory dutifully filling out the bracket...

Too cute to leave out :) Patrick is abnormally excellent at self-takers.  

Bill and Cory emerged victorious and are two time defending champs. I swear I'm going to practice every single day for the next year so I can be more competitive. (That's a lie. I just lied.) Group shot 2009...

So due to the postponement from the day before, we finished up with the tournament and high-tailed it outta there to make it to Rhythm and Booms in time for Little Vito and the Torpedoes. I think we got there literally as they were starting their set. And let's just say I was QUITE in the mood to sing loudly and double fist pump. At one point, Patrick had this circle of little kids around him that were copying every dance move he was doing from shimmies to twists. It was just the most darling darn thing you've ever seen!

3 bags in the hole was my 2008 Wisconsin Fantasy but I'd say this picture is about as close as it gets to outdoing last year!

Taken during the Craig Scott 'Summer of 69' solo. Extreme audience air guitaring ensues as far as the eye can see. 

Kick ball-change, EXTEND!

Um. We were really hungry after scream-performing Boys II Men "End of the Road" in Eric's car on the ride home (complete with Cory taking it deep with the "Baby... I knew you were wit dat other fella... I just didn't care") so everyone went straight to the brats. I don't think Cory or Eric even waited long enough to heat theirs up. Cory is like... cavemanning his. 

When I was flying into Madison I was thinking how I could have never anticipated how special this place would become to me. I really love it there. I love the kind of fun we have, the kind of people I spend time with, the kind of retreat it provides. I love how they all love each other. And I, too, truly love them. 

Yellow Wood Coffee and Tea

I looooooooove Yellow Wood Coffee and Tea in Alamo Plaza. Bottomless cup of coffee (no refill charge... HELLO! NO REFILL CHARGE!) served in cute yellow mugs. Actually there's not anything particularly cute about the mugs but I like that they're yellow. I pick up what they're throwing down on that one.

It's a gorgeous cool 70* here today and the outside tables are packed with tennis moms getting their morning gossip. Inside, a bunch of old guys wearing vets hats swapping stories like only good old boys can, a couple quiet readers in comfy chairs by the tropical fish tank (classily done, I promise), and me... trying to ignore the guy next to me training new people on a web-based business tool and catching up on a million different things at a corner table.

Did I mention they have power outlets next to just about every table in the place? Mercy.

Patrick Kelly, get here quick(ly). It screams of us.

Mr. and Mrs. Ben Tompkins!

After a few "low heavy cloud" delays into SFO, shipmate Erin Maus made it to California soil for the very first time! We joked it is ridiculous she has been to the likes of Dar Es Salaam and Chennai but never to CALIFORNIA before now. It was a whirlwind, but we did an okay job of giving her the basic lay of the land which of course included a shared hot fudge sundae at Ghirardelli :). It has been June Gloom around here all month but the skies parted for Erin and we had an absolutely PERFECT day to walk the bridge on Saturday morning.



We picked up additional shipgirl Paige who was in the city having lunch with friends that morning. The feeling of reunion is so strong with these girls - but I do have to say Big Wiz was sorely missed. The interesting thing about Big Wiz for me is she is now so strongly associated with DC for me and it isn't until I'm back with the SAS girls that I am reminded of many parts of our relationship from those early days.

SOMEHOW we found a way to carry on without BW and ambled through the Berkeley hills up to the Brazil Room at Tilden Park for Erica Davidson's wedding to Ben Tompkins! Lately when I talk about friends, I find myself ending the conversation with "I love that friend... I don't know anyone else like her/him." Erica is no exception. I love Erica... I don't know anyone else like her. So with that spirit and the memories all the way back to Rancho swim meets through afternoons at Shannon and Christie's in elementary school to romping around Beijing in an loathing haze, I was overjoyed to watch her say her vows to someone so wonderful and bathe in the happiness she so richly deserves.

This smile was big... even for Ers!



Gorgeous setting with the trees all around...



Cake cutting!



Girls with the bride (this after Erin and Paige tried to sneak in one WITHOUT me! Ugh.)


The wedding was such a great reason to get the SAS girls together and we have now tasked Paige with planning Greece 2010 (I will be taking a calm back seat to those details and let Paige carry the torch... my how far we've come, huh Paige! ha). It was also very fun getting to see a BUNCH of long lost pals from Erica's class or Burton Valley such as DORI who I just love and am excited is back in the area.

Of course any California visit would be incomplete without a trip (or two) to In-N-Out, so we indulged (Not my fault! We were on our way to the Roundup when Erin passed out so the alternative was... well... food):

Paige is really excited for her burger!



Except... not so much for the "spread"... I guess I now understand why I have never heard of someone getting the sauce on the side before. Yuck.



As BW so appropriately commented... these are the exact same faces we made after the Ambassador's Ball dessert table (and by dessert table I mean the one we built for OURSELVES from the REAL dessert table. Oh my god it is so gross thinking about that you guys haha).

Soft Launch

I think I'm back. I think I'm ready to be back. I was writing in my personal journal the other day (well, what I should say is I started a personal journal the other day) and forgot how lovely it is to put thoughts to pen. Or screen, in this case.

Much has happened that I cannot recount fully. Thanksgiving in Madison, a whirlwind trip to Santa Barbara to surprise the family for Christmas, and a dreamworld trip to Barcelona and Rome for New Years marked the holidays. Snapshots of dancing unabashed in the Barca apartment, absorbing the monks' organ practice in the Montserrat cathedral, standing in endless lines at Carre Four, waltzing through the streets arm in arm with Vincent, and the most warmly elegant dinner in the flat overlooking Piazza Navona in Rome come to mind. Truly, the most fulfilling possible use of those two weeks of life.

January was marked with the end of an era - certainly for my life, if not the country's. My decision to stay with the Boss until the end and to be the last to walk out the door with dear colleague-friends was important. Anyone who works or has worked in public office can understand this and the rest perhaps cannot.

Inauguration weekend was as historic as promised and perhaps will not be fully realized until time allows for context. I dove head first into it with gusto - standing in nose-numbing weather for U2 and Springsteen's sound checks at the Lincoln and the reflecting pool concert the next day. And for the Swearing-in itself, although the ill-fated "purple gate" was unforgiving and ultimately forfeited for a beer and tv screens of Chinatown's Green Turtle with Meredith, Remy, and Lo.

Ah, but that was to be twice redeemed by the best seat - or press stand, shall I say - of the night at the first inaugural Neighborhood Ball where the President and his Lady gave their first dance away to Beyonce's "At Last." And Denzel and Mariah and Faith and Mary J and Shakira and Queen Latifah and Vanessa Williams and Alicia Keys and Leonardo DiCaprio and Jay-Z and Sting and Stevie. To name a few.

The Staff Ball followed on the next night despite utter exhaustion from the previous days. And to be a part of it all, for me, was like being a fly on the wall to someone else's party. But I showed up, listened, and tried to laugh... like I always try to do... and I am so glad I did. Because I was, ultimately, a most humbled beneficiary.

I left town having not grown tired of the Capitol Dome in my rearview mirror and having not lost the swell of pride come over me when writing "Washington, DC" as my return address. And that to me is a wonderful testament of my feelings towards the time and friends I left behind.

The long way home included stops in Buffalo, Chicago, Lincoln, and Denver but ultimately landed me in Tahoe for a few weeks of quiet and many, many naps.

March, April, and May passed without much incident except for the runnings of my mind and the wonderings of what to do next.

So in following the tone of this expose, I should announce that I have started on a new path towards getting my Masters of Science in Nursing and becoming a Nurse Practitioner. The lawyers of the world all seem miserable and the corporate world seems self-satisfying and I just don't think I like either of those options for myself. When asked, I haven't quite made the leap from "I am thinking of being a nurse practitioner" to "I am becoming a nurse practitioner" but now that I am spending my days learning about simple squamous epithelium and the histology of the nervous system, I'd say I am at least crawling towards that leap.

Thank you, dear friends, for your love and prayers in these months. Though so much is still unspeakable, thank you.

Christmas Hero 2008

On certain Sundays in November

I've always tried to make this blog uplifting and positive - tried not to over dramatize or be inappropriately introspective. November weekends have been filled with a trip to Chicago to see Patrick, a "Campo 02" reunion here in DC with Liz, Ali, V, and Dill, and Ben and Leila's wedding. All fun, all worthy of separate posts detailing the happenings.

I'm feeling that recounting how great something was - while real and true - feels fake. Or at least disingenuous.

And in the same vein, I don't want to post about what is really going on. It's too personal, too much to know that it's all out there for anyone to read. It's not that I'm ashamed or unwilling to discuss these things, but to have no control over who is reading it and when requires more of a comfort level than I'm ready for. Too much vulnerability.

So I'm not really sure when I'll be blogging again. I'm not sure when it will feel okay to write about the good things and not feel like an impostor who is not lending equal time to the unspeakable. I hate duplicity. And right now that is what blogging feels like.

Please be patient with me. I like having a chronicle, but perhaps my inability to write - my silence - speaks loudest about this time in my life.

So truth is...

in a certain feeling of permanence that presses around the moment. They are ordinary people, after all. For a time they had entered the world of the newspaper statistic; a world where any measure you took to feel better was temporary, at best, but that was over. This is permanent. It must be.

Reflections on Election Day - Past and Present

Of the many things Election Day 2008 brought with it, one aspect I was unprepared for was the flood of memories from Election Day 2006. I was in the suburbs of Chicago campaigning for Pete Roskam. I understand why people get addicted to campaigns. What a rush! What a feeling of community - of working TOWARDS something so tangible and with a hard deadline. You work very very hard and play harder. I understand the relief of a campaign being over. No more 16 hour days, no more emotional stress, no more 4 hours of sleep, no more living off of coffee, cigarettes, dunkin donuts, and papa johns. Campaigning is terrible for ones health. The funny thing (and this is true of many things in life I think) is by the time the trail bends around again two years later, you've forgotten all the awful things about it and only remember the great things. Hence, campaign addiction.

On Election Night 2006 I was in St. Charles, IL with Denny and all the staff. We knew it was going to be bad. Very bad. We knew we were done. I think there was still SOME hope though. It's funny how you hold out hope. I remember watching the results come in from the "war room" upstairs at the hotel. We lost the House and therefore our jobs in the leadership office. And yet, Denny won his district again so... the locals were celebrating at his victory party. Surreal! Kate and I had some laughs that night! There were these balloon towers in the lobby for the event and Chris grabs a whole huge balloon tower and is like... "The balloons are coming with me. I don't care what anyone says. I'm taking the balloon tower." Lots of drowning of sorrows in the hotel bar after the party and then later in the suite upstairs. Surprisingly, I feel a strong sense of nostalgia when I think about that night. Something I think only DC people who "get it" can understand. Then waking up the next morning, packing up, heading to the airport. Everyone very quiet, very melancholy. I have this picture of Shea and I at the airport faking a thumbs up with these totally downtrodden looks on our faces.

Fast forward to Election Day 2008. Different, obviously, because of the excitement (or dread as the case may be) for the Presidential election. It took me literally 8 minutes to vote from when I walked up to the precinct to when I left. Record time I think. Last night QB, Beth, David and I grabbed drinks at the St. Regis then headed over to the RNC party at the Capitol Hilton. Yale sang the National Anthem! And what to say of the mood? Hmm. The mood. It was resigned, I think. Resigned is the best word for it. Not sure what else to say on that front.

It was still pretty fun, though! Saw a ton of people from over the years and from a bunch of different offices. This town is SMALL. They announced Mr. Obama's victory.
I got teary, I'll admit. Not so much over the crushing defeat of Senator McCain, but because it signaled - truly signaled - the beginning of the end. David and I looked at each other and embraced.

Halloween Humor

(hold your offense, lefty friends, it's just in good fun :))