#12. The Godfather Part One (and Jeannie's Eggplant Parm!)

#12 on my 30 before 30 list is to watch the Godfather Trilogy, so I took advantage of a lazy Saturday night at home by renting The Godfather Part One and settling in for the 3 hour commitment. I had very few expectations of the film because I honestly didn't know anything about the story other than it was an award winning classic. I found the first 30 minutes or so confusing because the sound quality isn't quite what we have become accustomed to and the "who's who" of the story took some mapping out. But once my dad assured me for the tenth time that "yes, that REALLY IS Al Pacino," I started getting into the story and found myself absolutely loving it! I don't fancy myself a film critic by any means but I enjoyed the time-honored themes of cross-generational responsibility, tradition, and vendetta. The Godfather's simple, straightforward violence screams much louder than the gratuitous gore we see in action movies today. It's fantastically profound.

And what's more appropriate for watching The Godfather than indulging in some great italian food and wine? My friend Jeannie sent me a GREAT recipe for Eggplant Parm and I have been very eager to try it! I even decided to make my own tomato sauce! Here are a few pictures and the recipe that I will DEFINITELY keep in my arsenal for the future:

I started with some tomatoes we had from Costco but if I were to do it again I would chose farmer's market tomatoes or very ripe heirloom tomatoes from the grocery...

An hour or two later and... voila!

Jeannie's Eggplant Parm started out looking something like this (couldn't resist the gorgeous produce pic)...

And an hour or two later... voila! ;). Thanks Jeannie for this awesomeness!

Recipe for Jeannie's Eggplant Parm
Serves 8

Olive oil, for baking sheets
2 large eggs
3/4 cup plain dry breadcrumbs
3/4 cup finely grated Parmesan, plus 2 tablespoons for topping
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
Coarse salt and ground pepper
2 large eggplants (2 1/2 pounds total), peeled and sliced into 1/2-inch rounds
6 cups Chunky Tomato Sauce
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella

Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Brush 2 baking sheets with oil; set aside. In a wide, shallow bowl, whisk together eggs and 2 tablespoons water. In another bowl, combine breadcrumbs, 3/4 cup Parmesan, oregano, and basil; season with salt and pepper.

Dip eggplant slices in egg mixture, letting excess drip off, then dredge in breadcrumb mixture, coating well; place on baking sheets.

Bake until golden brown on bottom, 20 to 25 minutes. Turn slices; continue baking until browned on other side, 20 to 25 minutes more. Remove from oven; raise oven heat to 400 degrees.

Spread 2 cups sauce in a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Arrange half the eggplant in dish; cover with 2 cups sauce, then 1/2 cup mozzarella. Repeat with remaining eggplant, sauce, and mozzarella; sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons Parmesan. Bake until sauce is bubbling and cheese is melted, 15 to 20 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

#16 Go Vegetarian: Day 5

I'm almost through Day 5 and my best description of what it has been like so far is... no big deal.

I'm not craving meat. I'm not having a hard time finding things to eat or recipes to make. I'm not finding it difficult to plan ahead.

I've now read through my book, "The New Becoming Vegetarian" and found it mostly unhelpful. It's a crash course in nutrition, which I took as a nursing prerequisite last fall. Coming off that disappointment, I have purchased a used copy of "Omnivores Dilemma" by Michael Pollen, a book that has been on my "to read" list for quite awhile now. I also plan to squeeze in "In Defense of Food." My expectations are that these books will be equally as valuable to me as "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver was a few years ago. "AVM" inspired me to join the Orchard Country Produce CSA Co-Op while I was in DC. (Click here to read my old post about that!)

So what AM I eating? I have gotten through two BBQs (including a July 4th party!) by choosing veggie burgers. They are delicious and I don't miss the real thing. But day to day I have been living off the homemade granola bars, whole wheat pesto pasta salad for lunch, and lots of gazpacho for dinner. Turns out that recipe make a TON of the stuff so it is admittedly getting a little tired! I am getting ahead of myself in wanting to make szechuan noodles, couscous salad, spinach pie, white arugula pizza, and vegetable frittata. I'm worried I'm not getting enough protein even with eggs and cheese and I have a goal to incorporate more legumes into my diet.

I will say I get hungry more often. I'm okay with it but it's noticeable. Nothing has changed with my bowel movements yet (TMI? haha) and I'm sure I haven't lost any weight since I haven't been in the gym as much as I need to be in order for that to happen.

As I write this on Day 5 I can honestly say I am considering making this more permanent... considering it.

30 by 30: #16. Go Vegetarian for 30 Days

Today is the first day of a 30-day vegetarian challenge I am doing as part of my 30 before 30 list. It's also the first item I am tackling on that list, so today is a big personal kickoff towards those goals.

I'm feeling EXCITED for these 30 days! I decided I wanted to really try to embrace this vegetarian lifestyle and learn about it as if I was making a lifelong change. I bought a book called "The New Becoming Vegetarian" which covers many aspects of the lifestyle such as maximizing the diet for your body and how to make sure you get everything you need nutrient-wise. One of the reasons I decided start this now is because it is perhaps the best time of the year produce-wise and there are so many seasonal options at the farmers market right now. I'm most interested in challenging myself to find and try new recipes that I wouldn't normally be drawn to with my meat-loving palate.

I spent the better part of last night making gazpacho and zucchini gratin (for dinner tonight) and homemade granola bars and whole wheat pesto pasta to have handy to take with me for lunches. I had never made the granola bars or gazpacho before and they are GREAT. All in all... this first-day-vegetarian is feeling very green and healthy.

(I should confess that I cooked myself up a big fat filet mignon with blue cheese crumbles last night as a last stand. Anyone in their right mind could avoid meat withdrawls for a good week after a meal like that.)

Today's Recipes:

Homemade Granola Bars

NOTE: I recommend using whatever dried fruit you most enjoy eating separately! I substituted dried papaya for dried apricots in mine.

Ingredients
2 cups old-fashioned oatmeal
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup shredded coconut, loosely packed
1/2 cup toasted wheat germ
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
2/3 cup honey
1/4 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup chopped pitted dates
1/2 cup chopped dried apricots
1/2 cup dried cranberries
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter an 8 by 12-inch baking dish and line it with parchment paper.

Toss the oatmeal, almonds, and coconut together on a sheet pan and bake for 10 to 12 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned. Transfer the mixture to a large mixing bowl and stir in the wheat germ.

Reduce the oven temperature to 300 degrees F.

Place the butter, honey, brown sugar, vanilla, and salt in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. Cook and stir for a minute, then pour over the toasted oatmeal mixture. Add the dates, apricots, and cranberries and stir well.

Pour the mixture into the prepared pan. Wet your fingers and lightly press the mixture evenly into the pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until light golden brown. Cool for at least 2 to 3 hours before cutting into squares. Serve at room temperature.

Zucchini Gratin

NOTE: I recommend doubling up the zucchini on this one - The onion to zucchini ratio is overwhelmed with onions if you leave it as-is. Also you do NOT need as much butter as it calls for - I used about half of what it calls for for the veggies and didn't put any on top for baking.

Ingredients
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter, plus extra for topping
1 pound yellow onions, cut in 1/2 and sliced (3 large)
2 pounds zucchini, sliced 1/4-inch thick (4 zucchini)
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup hot milk
3/4 cup fresh bread crumbs
3/4 cup grated Gruyere
Directions
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Melt the butter in a very large (12-inch) saute pan and cook the onions over low heat for 20 minutes, or until tender but not browned. Add the zucchini and cook, covered, for 10 minutes, or until tender. Add the salt, pepper, and nutmeg and cook uncovered for 5 more minutes. Stir in the flour. Add the hot milk and cook over low heat for a few minutes, until it makes a sauce. Pour the mixture into an 8 by 10-inch baking dish.

Combine the bread crumbs and Gruyere and sprinkle on top of the zucchini mixture. Dot with 1 tablespoon of butter cut into small bits and bake for 20 minutes, or until bubbly and browned.

Gazpacho

NOTE: I doubled this recipe and got a HA-YUGE amount of gazpacho on my hands now. Also when you serve it, one ladle full is enough. Just learned the hard way on that fact and some went to waste because of my indiscretion!

Ingredients
1 hothouse cucumber, halved and seeded, but not peeled
2 red bell peppers, cored and seeded
4 plum tomatoes
1 red onion
3 garlic cloves, minced
23 ounces tomato juice (3 cups)
1/4 cup white wine vinegar
1/4 cup good olive oil
1/2 tablespoon kosher salt
1 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
Directions
Roughly chop the cucumbers, bell peppers, tomatoes, and red onions into 1-inch cubes. Put each vegetable separately into a food processor fitted with a steel blade and pulse until it is coarsely chopped. Do not overprocess!

After each vegetable is processed, combine them in a large bowl and add the garlic, tomato juice, vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mix well and chill before serving. The longer gazpacho sits, the more the flavors develop.

30 before 30

1. Visit Alaska.
2. Visit London.
3. Attend a film festival.
4. Run a 5k and maybe even a 10k. (5k Completed August 27, 2011, 10k Completed September 16, 2012, HALF MARATHON (!!!) Completed October 14, 2012)
5. Become a regular. (Completed June 2011-??)
6. Read “Gone with the Wind” cover to cover.
7. Hike Half Dome.
8. Take a cooking class.
9. Fly first class. (Completed August 1, 2010)
10. Eat dinner at Chez Panisse (Completed March 17, 2011)
11. Visit the Holy Land with a pastor.
12. Watch the Godfather Trilogy. (Godfather Part 1 - Watched July 10, 2010, Godfather Part II - Watched March 30, 2011)
13. Speak publicly. (Completed April 14, 2012)
14. Indulge in a day-spa package. (Completed September 24, 2011)
15. Paint on canvas. (Completed February 4, 2011)
16. Go vegetarian for at least 30 days. (Completed July 2010)
17. Dye my hair. (Completed September 7, 2011)
18. Attend an NFL Playoff game.
19. Go camping. (Completed August 2-12, 2012)
20. Throw someone a party.
21. Become a member of a church.
22. Go on a picnic.
23. Read the Complete Works of John Steinbeck.
24. Own a fancy camera.
25. Make jewelry.
26. Learn a song on my guitar.
27. Host a tea. (Hosted on December 11, 2010!)
28. Consistently identify a constellation other than the Big Dipper. (Learned on Dec 21, 2010)
29. Take a 30-day fast from television.
30. Send one handwritten letter every week for a year. (Started on January 1, 2011, Completed December 31, 2011)

A Public Letter to a Personal Friend

It has been almost a year since Geoff was diagnosed and a month since he died. This is a letter that isn’t meant to encourage or comfort or to say I'm sorry. It is just a place to testify.

The last time I saw Geoff, he stood his normal tall and smiled his normal smile and even his color still had life. His “Cancer Sucks” button reflected his attitude. “Everything in my life is great!” he assured us, “It’s just this whole cancer thing.” He and I had a few private minutes outside the house, waiting on my brother. A few minutes I wanted to seize because I guess I thought they really might be the last for us even though he looked so great. And I want you to know, friend, that we used that time to talk about you. Your trajectory to Thailand was fresh, and not wanting to waste time talking about the cancer that was killing him, I offered, “I think it’s going to be really good for them… really good for him. You should see it someday. It’s a place for adventure. A place where he will be able to be adventurous again.” And that’s where the blessing started. The blessing of wanting you to live an adventure there. Geoff smiled and nodded and agreed. He blessed that blessing too.

Last month when my brother came back to the house from saying goodbye to Geoff, he was uncharacteristically inarticulate. He couldn’t quite say what had happened, what was said, how it felt. It was one of the first hot days of the year and his little boys wanted popsicles. He distributed them out, took one for himself, and went outside. The three of them slurping up their popsicles in the sun. Having contests on who could make the loudest, most obnoxious slurping sound. I’m not saying my brother ever needed a wake up call on time being precious or that being daddy is the most important role in his life, but something about that moment signaled to me that he felt that truth in his bones more than he had before. Geoff’s death has been life giving to him, friend.

Then, the week leading up to the funeral. It has always been okay to cry together, but to totally break down does nothing but make people worried about you. And I just desperately needed to actively grieve and physically mourn. I needed to literally cry out. I went to the reservoir with big dark glasses to cover my tears from the passersby and ultimately I ended up on one of the empty docks on the water. And I just cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. My face contorting, my head pounding, my wails growing louder. My crying turning to praying… or more of a pleading: “We surrender to the fact that healing didn’t happen, Lord! But now you have to move!” I said, broken. And then… in my cries… in my midst… Jesus himself. Just sitting there. Sitting next to me on the dock.
“Jesus! I’m angry!” And Him: “I know you’re angry.”
“Jesus!! I’m… sad.” “I know. I know you’re sad.”
“Jesus, I’m fucking heartbroken.” “I know how heartbroken you are.”
I’ve heard the voice of God before. I’ve felt the Holy Spirit prompt my soul. But until that moment, I had never felt the tangible physical presence of Jesus sitting shoulder to shoulder with me. I’ve never felt His friendship like that. He didn’t apologize or explain or say it was all going to be okay. He just listened and affirmed. He loved me. I don’t think Geoff had to die for me to experience Jesus that way, but I experienced Jesus that way because Geoff died. A simple truth. That, friend, is testimony.

Geoff

Photo by Rachel Goble Carey

If you don't have faith that Jesus is who He says He is, then there is nothing good whatsoever about a 35 year old husband and father dying after a 10 month battle with Stage 4 colon cancer. To you, Geoff simply died and left behind a heartbroken wife and three children who absolutely adored him, not to mention countless grieving friends.

And we are heartbroken and grieving and raw and pissed off and hurt and in disbelief he is gone.

But we are also sure with every fiber of our beings that Geoff is with Jesus. Sure that God is faithful and good. Sure that there is a plan to redeem this loss and restore this family. Sure that God will move.

Tomorrow we will gather together to remember Geoff. I don't know how well my profoundly sad heart will be at celebrating his life, but I do know God's name will be lifted higher and higher and higher and higher.

Heartforward

Camaron Ochs is a childhood friend and beautiful human being who has courageously offered her heart and talent into an amazing debut album called "Heartforward." I FINALLY got to see her live last weekend at a little acoustic venue and even if we didn't share the bond of Troop 577 Brownie-hood, I would still be writing this post and fully encouraging anyone who comes across it to go to www.camaronochs.com to check her out! The CD is also available on itunes and it's just one of those you can put on and listen to from the beginning to the end.

Now I am not usually one to take to many female voices, but Cam's sound is right up there stylistically like Joni Mitchell but sweet like Norah Jones. You will love the CD, I promise. Even better, if you are in the Bay Area go check her out live and invite me to come with you!

Sparks' Thailand Update!

Overflowing with joy from this update Rach put together! Loving every single thing from piggy to the SOLDmobile to the porch to the kids to the resource center progress to Kao Soi to Sparks' happy face :)

FREEDOM Kids

I've been back for a few weeks now knowing there was still one post I had left unwritten. I talked about Home of New Beginnings. I talked about VCDF. I didn't talk about us.

If lack of education leads to poverty,

And poverty is Thailand's trafficker,

Then, education is the key to prevention.

In a word, The SOLD Project is about prevention.

The fact is, it costs money to keep kids in school in Thailand. Many of the parents of the kids we are involved with are hard working rice farmers who simply do not make enough money to be able to prioritize education for their children. The SOLD Project provides scholarships for over 60 children and teenagers living in a small village outside Chiang Rai (and there are many waiting for sponsorship!). All of our kids exhibit one or more risk factors for ending up in the sex industry that range from single parent homes to being raised by a relative other than their parents to substance abuse in the home to family members formerly or currently in the sex industry.

The dream is that the cycle will stop with these kids. The FREEDOM kids.

But this business is tough. What our staff has come to is this: Prevention isn't sexy. We don't come home with a bunch of harrowing stories of us rescuing kids who are chained to beds or being sold by their mothers for drug money. We know those stories. We hate those stories. We will be damned if that becomes one of our kid's stories.

I went on this trip excited about many opportunities, but what I was completely unprepared for was how fast I would so deeply care for our kids. I'm absolutely crazy about them. I wish you could know them! They are crazy boys who like showing me their muscles and sneaking up on me from behind. They are tiny peanut girls who giggle unstoppably at anything Pi Nate does. They are teenagers who are learning english and planning what steps they are going to take next to become teachers or doctors.

(Photo by Daniel Showalter)

The SOLD Project is building a resource center in the middle of the village where many of the kids live. Practically, the center will be a place we can hold parent meetings and house long term volunteers. But something I didn't realize before I went there - something I needed to see to understand - was that these kids just need to have a place to BE. And in that light, I think all of SOLD has been individually daydreaming ideas for what that could look like. For me it means a birthday board and science projects and organized after school sports and a library with reading time and puppet shows and Saturday afternoon nail painting with the girls and exposing them to educational computer programs and maybe trying to talk about some public health issues. I daydream of truth being spoken into their lives - that they are Smart. Capable. Beautiful. Interesting. Confident... and Loved! Well loved.

So this post, really, is a primer. Because we need your money to do this. There is nothing I can think of that I want to do LESS than fundraising. But I realized this trip that I just haven't previously encountered something I feel strongly enough about to be asking for money. Rest assured, I've found that thing haha! I think this resource center will be a cornerstone to the SOLD Project in Chiang Rai. I think it will be a lasting place that will, ultimately, allow us to entrust it fully to local staff and free us to grow into other places. But most importantly, it will be a place for the kids to just be.

VCDF

An artist named Kru Nam couldn't ignore the street kids she passed every day - where did they live? Did they have mothers? Why weren't they in school?

So one day she set up a canvas on the street and began to paint. And the kids came to watch... a few here, a few more there. The next day she came back - this time with extra supplies for the kids to paint along with her. The kids had nothing else to do, nowhere else to go, no one watching out for them. So Kru Nam did something about it.


Volunteers for Children Development Foundation now runs two orphanages in Chiang Sean and Chiang Mai and two drop-in centers in Mae Sai and Chiang Mai. The orphanages provide a more stable, consistent, long-term opportunity for the kids to get off the streets. The drop-in centers are a place for kids still on the streets - many of them are young boys working at the bars for western men- and is a place for them to nap, relax, and receive education (including STD, HIV/AIDS prevention information).


So that's the information.



But the story is really in the individual faces. Each comes with a past of sexual exploitation - too awful to sensationalize on this blog - or neglect, or child labor, or abuse, or a combination of all of those and then some. They are loved back to life by the VCDF staff. Through art therapy, for example. And through a venue where they are allowed to be loud, silly, giggly, sweet, crazy kids.

Engrish

This post is dedicated exclusively to Sweeting - a fellow engrish lover and inspiration for these photos:

A universal truth.

Excuse me, Mr. Joe but when does the Grand Place open exactly? I'm hedging my be's on this one.

Well... I guess when you think about it, that is what we do.

I promise this is a restaurant menu and not a brothel services list.

I am not sure I actually want to know what a demon moustache is.

Only if it's sometimes.

Alliteration at it's best.

Perhaps "fresh" has a different meaning than I'm aware of?

Thai attempt at diet rap?

Please leave your machetes, dogs, and cigarettes at home but be sure to bring your best karaoke song requests.

Too much indeed.

So many tenses, I don't even know where to go with this one.

Well I guess that's one way of looking at it.

So... provided I give 10 points, I can take it to jail with me, right?

"You lose what you do not share"

On Tha Pae Road in Chiang Mai, there is a cluttered storefront with layers of paintings obstructing the already tiny doors in. Once inside, you're met with piles and piles and layers and layers of paintings filled with happy colors and gentle blessings.

Live your dream, don't dream your life.

Think global, Act local.

It is better to dance in the rain than to weather the storm.

John Gallery has been open for 30 years. He is beautiful - with kind eyes and smile wrinkles. His initial goal was to reach 100,000 paintings but he has far surpassed that and told me he is now aiming for 200,000. I bought a medium sized painting that says "Do what you love, the universe will take care of the rest." He threw in a few extra paintings as gifts - "Because I have so many! You lose what you do not share," he said.

Soi Cowboy Update!

Here is an exerpt from an email I received from Bonita yesterday...

"I THINK you went with Jit on outreach to Soi Cowboy? Just to let the team know that as a result of outreach, particularly to Soi Cowboy, we had ELEVEN girls come to English class. We have not had so many new girls in a very long time. Thank you! We had to divide them into two groups - beginners and four others who could converse a bit but wanted reading and writing skills."

Makes me teary :)

And wondering about which particular girls came. I can see their faces. Which eleven were they?

Oh, the potential!

To Dream Again

The Home of New Beginnings doesn’t look like much from the outside-in. The street gate creeks open, the cement in the courtyard is cracked, the picnic table seems to be slowly succumbing to cobwebs. Outside the door there are 50 some-odd pairs of shoes (women will be women no matter where they come from!) and a cranky turtle snaps at you from his terrarium home as you step in. But for a place focused on the inside-out, there is nothing more appropriate than an unassuming three story equivalent to an American row house.

Bonita Thompson wondered what she was going to dig her heels into when she and her husband Roy moved to Thailand some five years ago to alleviate travel stresses for his job. There are other organizations working with the bar girls in Bangkok – other organizations doing wonderful work – but Bonita’s dreams are deep, not wide. And 30 girls out of the bars later, the Home of New Beginnings is a place for capacity building. A place for hope. A place for safety.

A place for women to dream again.

Counseling is a virtually unknown idea to Thailand so for a group of Thai women who have not been given enough formal education, been beaten and left by their alcoholic husbands, told they must support their family (their entire family – grandparents, kids, parents, cousins), then certainly mistreated and perhaps raped by customers… Bonita has her work cut out for her.

HNB girls go out to Nana Place and Soi Cowboy and befriend the girls there – offering them English lessons (which they can get, free of charge, regardless of their intention to leave the bars). The hope is this exposure to the house will make them feel welcome, comfortable, and expose them to the fact that there are other ways to live. Other opportunities.

Home of New Beginnings offers a free place to live, food, and a support system of all the women who live there. HNB gives the girls in the house a weekly stipend so they have something to live on and perhaps even send back to their families who are depending on those baht. The girls educational needs are assessed and then met (two girls are in University and most others are working towards Grade 12). They are taught sewing and other craft skills (they sell shirts, bags, little cute hair barrettes, journals, greeting cards, table runners out of the house for some extra income). Capacity building.

Still, there are empty beds. A pay cut and more difficult work (studying is more difficult than sex, perhaps) doesn’t sound overly attractive to most of the 2,000 girls in Soi Cowboy and 3,000 girls in Nana who must provide for their families back home. To this, Bonita shrugs her shoulders and admits the home’s emotional capacity is probably less than the amount of open beds they have.

The Home of New Beginnings needs are:

-Money. The monthly overhead is about 8500 USD. There is only 2200 USD pledged per month. Each month comes with $6300 worth of anxiety. Each. Month.

-Bar fines. Home of New Beginnings throws a huge Christmas Party for any girl from any bar who wants to have a night of food, friends, music, presents. But they have to pay the bar fine to get that girl out of the bar for the night. They also want to be able to pay the bar fines for girls who don’t feel well on any given day. Most girls work 28 days of every month and are not able to take the night off if they don’t feel good without paying their own fine. How much? About 800 Baht or 24 USD.

-Interns. Good ones. Self-sufficient, previously traveled, extremely relational and confident interns willing to give a six month commitment.

-A new refrigerator. And a fixed or new AC unit for the classroom.

-Teams to come paint beautifully girly colored rooms!

On a happy note, the house mama named Ann is coming to visit (of all places) Pleasanton, California in a few months and all she wants to do is go to breakfast at Country Waffles and have a huge serving of whipped cream on her waffles. We can do that for you, Ann - we'll order all the whipped cream you can stomach :)

Silly Farang

Talked to the girls for a few hours tonight on Soi Cowboy. Swallowed deep, put on my Thai smile like it's all fine and normal to be hanging out with topless prostitutes.

Brought them fruit - mangoes spiced with red chili flakes, green grapes. Got there before it got too busy, too crazy for them to talk.

One girl said I needed a tan and could come back and work with her.

Two asian men asked how must I cost. How much? How much?

Not for sale.

The same girl who said I need a tan also told me I'm fat and if I stay in Thailand, I'll eat Thai food and get skinny. "Honey if I get skinny like you, I'll also have small tits like yours." She thought that was really funny. And I do too :)

A dad was in one of the go-gos with his 15 years old-ish son. The son looked absolutely terrified.

The mama-sans were nice to me until the clock struck 10pm. Then I was taking up prime real estate in front of the stage and needed to vacate. They were nice then too, but I still had to vacate. She hoped I'd come back and she'd see me soon.

One girl said she had been in Bangkok - which for her means in the bars - for six days. Six months you mean? Six days, she re-confirmed. Then she had to go on the stage.

A girl asked me if I wanted to try what she was eating. I really didn't but did anyway. After I took a cautious bite she told me it was "mou" and puffed up her cheeks. "MOUSE!? Lady, I'm a farang! We don't eat mouse!" She laughed for about five minutes - translated what I said to the other girls (more laughter) and clarified what I had eaten was actually "mouth." A duck's, apparently. Well ok then. That's slightly better. I told her I don't like the bugs they eat from the bug carts either - because the legs get stuck in my teeth. She thought that was funny too. Silly farang.

Waking

Little thrills me more than waking up on the first morning of a trip. So often I arrive under night’s cloak; all my orientation completely off thanks to an extra 50 baht worth of suspiciously circular turns to find our destination on Soi 4. Friday night in Sukhumvit. Alive with “closed” bars – their patrons “finishing up” their beers.

In an effort to clean up the drug trade and mafia activity – and perhaps to curtail international reputation for other surreptitious proceedings – a few years ago, the Thai government mandated that bars in Bangkok close at 1am. Public outcry ensued, causing an amendment to the rule and allowing some bars in some areas to be open later. Unexempt bars now just turn the house lights off, move patrons to the street tables, and serve until clients dissipate. I first experienced this during my 2007 trip when all the lights on a whole strip of bars went dark but my waiter offered me another Singha through his characteristically toothy thai smile.

Back to this morning. My fascination with time is perhaps eclipsed by the phenomenon of travel. Yesterday (or two days ago thanks to the International Dateline), I left San Francisco and today – Bangkok. Clad in what I’m hoping looks bohemian (but in fairness amounts to wrinkled clothes and wild hair) I “sawadee’d” our hotel security, denied “where are you going” taxi drivers, and dodged the morning noodle stands. Appear like you have a destination, adjust bag to front of body, hide eyes behind sunglasses. And look…

Beers at 9am? Really, gentlemen? Breakfast with last night’s courtesan? Well, how decent of you. I see a sign for Starbucks but fight my instincts with a streetside iced coffee instead.

Signs – Massage! Melodies Guesthouse: Nice rooms, Happy bar to make your dreams come true! Tiff Gold Shop. Charming Bar. Nana BTS.

Faces – girls weary from working last night, one older (retired?) woman, red-faced white men with beer bellies, a pimp?

I’m looking for heartbreak but I sense normalcy.

Good Morning, Bangkok.

Making a Mess

On Christmas Eve, I cut my mom off right before she was about to share Jesus with a friend of ours. I threw my hands up between them and told the friend to retreat from the conversation. Why am I afraid of making a mess?

Part of my thinking is I want people to see a different church than the stone they grew up around. A church where they experience freedom and authenticity. A church that's - well - not afraid to make a mess.

What I've assumed about the non-Christians in my life is that they have heard the gospel before. John 3:16 is a tired line that they aren't buying. I’ve been a slave to that assumption.

The reality of Jesus walking on this earth, the profundity of what that means for us, is something they are "happy I feel strongly about" or "glad my faith is important to me." But in processing some of this, I can think of only two friends who have ever asked me what I believe in. And I can think of many more than two friends who I'm not sure *really* have heard about who Jesus is, why He came.

The second part of 2 Corinthians 5 is packed with the gospel message:

Verses 14-15: For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Verse 17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Verse 21: God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Compelling. Convincing. For all. New. So that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

In the same chapter, Paul says "If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you." Maybe you needed to read or re-read those other verses. But that last one is for me today - a call to be out of my mind. A call to make a mess.

2009

The title of this entry is intentionally devoid of adjectives, qualifications, or predilection. I'm conflicted.

My initial and quickest reaction to 2009 is it's a year I am glad to say goodbye to. I've never felt like this before - never felt such a strong readiness for a year to be over. I've been saying things like "I'd be lying if I said it was a great year" or "You know what? It was a weird year."

I lost my job. I said goodbye to friends and closed a chapter on a life I loved. Taylor's baby is dead. Geoff is fighting cancer. My dad's business sucks and watching his discouragement is beyond upsetting. Julie and Darren's financial situation stinks right now. I'm stressed out about getting into school and having no back up plan. The asshole who attempted to rape and murder my roommate didn't take the plea bargain so now we are answering calls from lawyers and getting knocks on our doors from the defendant's legal team three days before Christmas.

So life's hard, is it? I guess I didn't really know that before this year. But I think - I know - I can't throw away what 24 other years have taught me. Life is interesting. Fresh. Full. Unexpected.

I think to how this year started. In Barcelona. And Rome. With friends. Ones I could have never imagined I'd have.

I think to opportunities I had and seized.

And of little moments that are still making me laugh or smile. A blooper reel of sorts:

Meredith's impression of the opossum Liz almost hit...

Unbelievable rainbows over Niagra Falls

Peak-a-boo!

OMG, Disgruntled Boo haha!

By far the cutest picture potential RUINED thanks to Muffin.

Excuse me, sir? I'm trying to read.

Sorry Maus. I couldn't help myself.

You guys think walking through KELLY'S is more scary than walking through Apex?

Am I looking FORWARD to 2010? Sure. For a new niece. In anticipation of a move to a city I can't wait to dig my heels into. For another year of unscheduled weekdays. For the fact 2009 is behind me.

Weekend at Arista

Meli visited us all the way from Paris and I was of course MORE than happy to accept an invitation to spend a weekend at David's parents place near Healdsburg. Arista Winery makes a great flight of wines ranging from a rare-for-Sonoma Gewurztaminer to a few different pinots that are wonderful. Much more important, however, is the hospitality of the McWilliams who are amongst the most generous and warm people I know.

But back to Meli... Melina REALLY wanted an "American breakfast" - and who could blame her when that means bacon and cheese until your blood is practically the consistency of oil!? We met at a diner that totally lived up to expectations. Here's a pic of a very happy and satisfied Meli after we ate:



The McWilliams just got the COOLEST present EVER from a family member that I have dubbed the "Aristamobile" - It's fully equipped with the Arista logo, plenty of cushiony seats, storage, a cd player, and of course a Texas Longhorn or two. David wasted no time driving us around the property and I wasted no time sampling a little vino :)



Pretty oak. Very Annie Liebs.



We also squeezed in a non-wine-related event of going to Armstrong Woods so Melina could see the Redwoods. It was all overcast and foggy which actually was a really cool effect for the trees. You could look up and see droplets of water falling down from wayyyyyyyyyyy up there all the way to the ground. Makes you feel small.


Aside from getting conned into seeing Avatar, it was a great and relaxing weekend that we ate and drank entirely too much. I did get to go to a bunch of new wineries I had never tasted at before such as "J" winery which was probably one of my favorite tastings ever. We did just the champagne flight. So needless to say it was very successful :). Great to spend downtime with Melina too - all too often we are in the craziness of a group. So nice to slow down!

Go NAVY! Beat Army!

Sad. Not there this year.

Resurrecting my post from 2007 - Click here!

And dug up this funny pic from last year's game in Philly. I love how NOT amused Steve is by my sign.

(Muff and Sweeting, do you guys have pictures from that day? I don't know why I have so few. Actually I do. Too many irish coffees! And Lo, I need that cute Army/Navy Towel one of us!)