VCDF

An artist named Kru Nam couldn't ignore the street kids she passed every day - where did they live? Did they have mothers? Why weren't they in school?

So one day she set up a canvas on the street and began to paint. And the kids came to watch... a few here, a few more there. The next day she came back - this time with extra supplies for the kids to paint along with her. The kids had nothing else to do, nowhere else to go, no one watching out for them. So Kru Nam did something about it.


Volunteers for Children Development Foundation now runs two orphanages in Chiang Sean and Chiang Mai and two drop-in centers in Mae Sai and Chiang Mai. The orphanages provide a more stable, consistent, long-term opportunity for the kids to get off the streets. The drop-in centers are a place for kids still on the streets - many of them are young boys working at the bars for western men- and is a place for them to nap, relax, and receive education (including STD, HIV/AIDS prevention information).


So that's the information.



But the story is really in the individual faces. Each comes with a past of sexual exploitation - too awful to sensationalize on this blog - or neglect, or child labor, or abuse, or a combination of all of those and then some. They are loved back to life by the VCDF staff. Through art therapy, for example. And through a venue where they are allowed to be loud, silly, giggly, sweet, crazy kids.

Engrish

This post is dedicated exclusively to Sweeting - a fellow engrish lover and inspiration for these photos:

A universal truth.

Excuse me, Mr. Joe but when does the Grand Place open exactly? I'm hedging my be's on this one.

Well... I guess when you think about it, that is what we do.

I promise this is a restaurant menu and not a brothel services list.

I am not sure I actually want to know what a demon moustache is.

Only if it's sometimes.

Alliteration at it's best.

Perhaps "fresh" has a different meaning than I'm aware of?

Thai attempt at diet rap?

Please leave your machetes, dogs, and cigarettes at home but be sure to bring your best karaoke song requests.

Too much indeed.

So many tenses, I don't even know where to go with this one.

Well I guess that's one way of looking at it.

So... provided I give 10 points, I can take it to jail with me, right?

"You lose what you do not share"

On Tha Pae Road in Chiang Mai, there is a cluttered storefront with layers of paintings obstructing the already tiny doors in. Once inside, you're met with piles and piles and layers and layers of paintings filled with happy colors and gentle blessings.

Live your dream, don't dream your life.

Think global, Act local.

It is better to dance in the rain than to weather the storm.

John Gallery has been open for 30 years. He is beautiful - with kind eyes and smile wrinkles. His initial goal was to reach 100,000 paintings but he has far surpassed that and told me he is now aiming for 200,000. I bought a medium sized painting that says "Do what you love, the universe will take care of the rest." He threw in a few extra paintings as gifts - "Because I have so many! You lose what you do not share," he said.

Soi Cowboy Update!

Here is an exerpt from an email I received from Bonita yesterday...

"I THINK you went with Jit on outreach to Soi Cowboy? Just to let the team know that as a result of outreach, particularly to Soi Cowboy, we had ELEVEN girls come to English class. We have not had so many new girls in a very long time. Thank you! We had to divide them into two groups - beginners and four others who could converse a bit but wanted reading and writing skills."

Makes me teary :)

And wondering about which particular girls came. I can see their faces. Which eleven were they?

Oh, the potential!

To Dream Again

The Home of New Beginnings doesn’t look like much from the outside-in. The street gate creeks open, the cement in the courtyard is cracked, the picnic table seems to be slowly succumbing to cobwebs. Outside the door there are 50 some-odd pairs of shoes (women will be women no matter where they come from!) and a cranky turtle snaps at you from his terrarium home as you step in. But for a place focused on the inside-out, there is nothing more appropriate than an unassuming three story equivalent to an American row house.

Bonita Thompson wondered what she was going to dig her heels into when she and her husband Roy moved to Thailand some five years ago to alleviate travel stresses for his job. There are other organizations working with the bar girls in Bangkok – other organizations doing wonderful work – but Bonita’s dreams are deep, not wide. And 30 girls out of the bars later, the Home of New Beginnings is a place for capacity building. A place for hope. A place for safety.

A place for women to dream again.

Counseling is a virtually unknown idea to Thailand so for a group of Thai women who have not been given enough formal education, been beaten and left by their alcoholic husbands, told they must support their family (their entire family – grandparents, kids, parents, cousins), then certainly mistreated and perhaps raped by customers… Bonita has her work cut out for her.

HNB girls go out to Nana Place and Soi Cowboy and befriend the girls there – offering them English lessons (which they can get, free of charge, regardless of their intention to leave the bars). The hope is this exposure to the house will make them feel welcome, comfortable, and expose them to the fact that there are other ways to live. Other opportunities.

Home of New Beginnings offers a free place to live, food, and a support system of all the women who live there. HNB gives the girls in the house a weekly stipend so they have something to live on and perhaps even send back to their families who are depending on those baht. The girls educational needs are assessed and then met (two girls are in University and most others are working towards Grade 12). They are taught sewing and other craft skills (they sell shirts, bags, little cute hair barrettes, journals, greeting cards, table runners out of the house for some extra income). Capacity building.

Still, there are empty beds. A pay cut and more difficult work (studying is more difficult than sex, perhaps) doesn’t sound overly attractive to most of the 2,000 girls in Soi Cowboy and 3,000 girls in Nana who must provide for their families back home. To this, Bonita shrugs her shoulders and admits the home’s emotional capacity is probably less than the amount of open beds they have.

The Home of New Beginnings needs are:

-Money. The monthly overhead is about 8500 USD. There is only 2200 USD pledged per month. Each month comes with $6300 worth of anxiety. Each. Month.

-Bar fines. Home of New Beginnings throws a huge Christmas Party for any girl from any bar who wants to have a night of food, friends, music, presents. But they have to pay the bar fine to get that girl out of the bar for the night. They also want to be able to pay the bar fines for girls who don’t feel well on any given day. Most girls work 28 days of every month and are not able to take the night off if they don’t feel good without paying their own fine. How much? About 800 Baht or 24 USD.

-Interns. Good ones. Self-sufficient, previously traveled, extremely relational and confident interns willing to give a six month commitment.

-A new refrigerator. And a fixed or new AC unit for the classroom.

-Teams to come paint beautifully girly colored rooms!

On a happy note, the house mama named Ann is coming to visit (of all places) Pleasanton, California in a few months and all she wants to do is go to breakfast at Country Waffles and have a huge serving of whipped cream on her waffles. We can do that for you, Ann - we'll order all the whipped cream you can stomach :)

Silly Farang

Talked to the girls for a few hours tonight on Soi Cowboy. Swallowed deep, put on my Thai smile like it's all fine and normal to be hanging out with topless prostitutes.

Brought them fruit - mangoes spiced with red chili flakes, green grapes. Got there before it got too busy, too crazy for them to talk.

One girl said I needed a tan and could come back and work with her.

Two asian men asked how must I cost. How much? How much?

Not for sale.

The same girl who said I need a tan also told me I'm fat and if I stay in Thailand, I'll eat Thai food and get skinny. "Honey if I get skinny like you, I'll also have small tits like yours." She thought that was really funny. And I do too :)

A dad was in one of the go-gos with his 15 years old-ish son. The son looked absolutely terrified.

The mama-sans were nice to me until the clock struck 10pm. Then I was taking up prime real estate in front of the stage and needed to vacate. They were nice then too, but I still had to vacate. She hoped I'd come back and she'd see me soon.

One girl said she had been in Bangkok - which for her means in the bars - for six days. Six months you mean? Six days, she re-confirmed. Then she had to go on the stage.

A girl asked me if I wanted to try what she was eating. I really didn't but did anyway. After I took a cautious bite she told me it was "mou" and puffed up her cheeks. "MOUSE!? Lady, I'm a farang! We don't eat mouse!" She laughed for about five minutes - translated what I said to the other girls (more laughter) and clarified what I had eaten was actually "mouth." A duck's, apparently. Well ok then. That's slightly better. I told her I don't like the bugs they eat from the bug carts either - because the legs get stuck in my teeth. She thought that was funny too. Silly farang.

Waking

Little thrills me more than waking up on the first morning of a trip. So often I arrive under night’s cloak; all my orientation completely off thanks to an extra 50 baht worth of suspiciously circular turns to find our destination on Soi 4. Friday night in Sukhumvit. Alive with “closed” bars – their patrons “finishing up” their beers.

In an effort to clean up the drug trade and mafia activity – and perhaps to curtail international reputation for other surreptitious proceedings – a few years ago, the Thai government mandated that bars in Bangkok close at 1am. Public outcry ensued, causing an amendment to the rule and allowing some bars in some areas to be open later. Unexempt bars now just turn the house lights off, move patrons to the street tables, and serve until clients dissipate. I first experienced this during my 2007 trip when all the lights on a whole strip of bars went dark but my waiter offered me another Singha through his characteristically toothy thai smile.

Back to this morning. My fascination with time is perhaps eclipsed by the phenomenon of travel. Yesterday (or two days ago thanks to the International Dateline), I left San Francisco and today – Bangkok. Clad in what I’m hoping looks bohemian (but in fairness amounts to wrinkled clothes and wild hair) I “sawadee’d” our hotel security, denied “where are you going” taxi drivers, and dodged the morning noodle stands. Appear like you have a destination, adjust bag to front of body, hide eyes behind sunglasses. And look…

Beers at 9am? Really, gentlemen? Breakfast with last night’s courtesan? Well, how decent of you. I see a sign for Starbucks but fight my instincts with a streetside iced coffee instead.

Signs – Massage! Melodies Guesthouse: Nice rooms, Happy bar to make your dreams come true! Tiff Gold Shop. Charming Bar. Nana BTS.

Faces – girls weary from working last night, one older (retired?) woman, red-faced white men with beer bellies, a pimp?

I’m looking for heartbreak but I sense normalcy.

Good Morning, Bangkok.

Making a Mess

On Christmas Eve, I cut my mom off right before she was about to share Jesus with a friend of ours. I threw my hands up between them and told the friend to retreat from the conversation. Why am I afraid of making a mess?

Part of my thinking is I want people to see a different church than the stone they grew up around. A church where they experience freedom and authenticity. A church that's - well - not afraid to make a mess.

What I've assumed about the non-Christians in my life is that they have heard the gospel before. John 3:16 is a tired line that they aren't buying. I’ve been a slave to that assumption.

The reality of Jesus walking on this earth, the profundity of what that means for us, is something they are "happy I feel strongly about" or "glad my faith is important to me." But in processing some of this, I can think of only two friends who have ever asked me what I believe in. And I can think of many more than two friends who I'm not sure *really* have heard about who Jesus is, why He came.

The second part of 2 Corinthians 5 is packed with the gospel message:

Verses 14-15: For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Verse 17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Verse 21: God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Compelling. Convincing. For all. New. So that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

In the same chapter, Paul says "If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you." Maybe you needed to read or re-read those other verses. But that last one is for me today - a call to be out of my mind. A call to make a mess.

2009

The title of this entry is intentionally devoid of adjectives, qualifications, or predilection. I'm conflicted.

My initial and quickest reaction to 2009 is it's a year I am glad to say goodbye to. I've never felt like this before - never felt such a strong readiness for a year to be over. I've been saying things like "I'd be lying if I said it was a great year" or "You know what? It was a weird year."

I lost my job. I said goodbye to friends and closed a chapter on a life I loved. Taylor's baby is dead. Geoff is fighting cancer. My dad's business sucks and watching his discouragement is beyond upsetting. Julie and Darren's financial situation stinks right now. I'm stressed out about getting into school and having no back up plan. The asshole who attempted to rape and murder my roommate didn't take the plea bargain so now we are answering calls from lawyers and getting knocks on our doors from the defendant's legal team three days before Christmas.

So life's hard, is it? I guess I didn't really know that before this year. But I think - I know - I can't throw away what 24 other years have taught me. Life is interesting. Fresh. Full. Unexpected.

I think to how this year started. In Barcelona. And Rome. With friends. Ones I could have never imagined I'd have.

I think to opportunities I had and seized.

And of little moments that are still making me laugh or smile. A blooper reel of sorts:

Meredith's impression of the opossum Liz almost hit...

Unbelievable rainbows over Niagra Falls

Peak-a-boo!

OMG, Disgruntled Boo haha!

By far the cutest picture potential RUINED thanks to Muffin.

Excuse me, sir? I'm trying to read.

Sorry Maus. I couldn't help myself.

You guys think walking through KELLY'S is more scary than walking through Apex?

Am I looking FORWARD to 2010? Sure. For a new niece. In anticipation of a move to a city I can't wait to dig my heels into. For another year of unscheduled weekdays. For the fact 2009 is behind me.

Weekend at Arista

Meli visited us all the way from Paris and I was of course MORE than happy to accept an invitation to spend a weekend at David's parents place near Healdsburg. Arista Winery makes a great flight of wines ranging from a rare-for-Sonoma Gewurztaminer to a few different pinots that are wonderful. Much more important, however, is the hospitality of the McWilliams who are amongst the most generous and warm people I know.

But back to Meli... Melina REALLY wanted an "American breakfast" - and who could blame her when that means bacon and cheese until your blood is practically the consistency of oil!? We met at a diner that totally lived up to expectations. Here's a pic of a very happy and satisfied Meli after we ate:



The McWilliams just got the COOLEST present EVER from a family member that I have dubbed the "Aristamobile" - It's fully equipped with the Arista logo, plenty of cushiony seats, storage, a cd player, and of course a Texas Longhorn or two. David wasted no time driving us around the property and I wasted no time sampling a little vino :)



Pretty oak. Very Annie Liebs.



We also squeezed in a non-wine-related event of going to Armstrong Woods so Melina could see the Redwoods. It was all overcast and foggy which actually was a really cool effect for the trees. You could look up and see droplets of water falling down from wayyyyyyyyyyy up there all the way to the ground. Makes you feel small.


Aside from getting conned into seeing Avatar, it was a great and relaxing weekend that we ate and drank entirely too much. I did get to go to a bunch of new wineries I had never tasted at before such as "J" winery which was probably one of my favorite tastings ever. We did just the champagne flight. So needless to say it was very successful :). Great to spend downtime with Melina too - all too often we are in the craziness of a group. So nice to slow down!

Go NAVY! Beat Army!

Sad. Not there this year.

Resurrecting my post from 2007 - Click here!

And dug up this funny pic from last year's game in Philly. I love how NOT amused Steve is by my sign.

(Muff and Sweeting, do you guys have pictures from that day? I don't know why I have so few. Actually I do. Too many irish coffees! And Lo, I need that cute Army/Navy Towel one of us!)

Gettysburg Address - November 19, 1863

One of my favorite DC things to do was take a good power walk around the Mall. Around halfway I'd charge up the Lincoln Memorial stairs, elbow some tourists out of the way, and detour left to the text of the Gettysburg Address. I'd lean against the second column from the front, pause my ipod, and mouth the words start to finish. The richness and relevancy of these words give me chills.

Some texts can't come alive until you say them aloud; until you feel the rhythm of delivery...

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate... we can not consecrate... we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain - that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that government: of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

TIME time time time

Thanksgiving! -- 11 days 17 hours, 31 minutes, 12 seconds
Done with Prereqs! -- 33 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes, 22 seconds
Happy Birthday Jesus -- 40 days, 17 hours, 29 minutes, 37 seconds
New Years in Madison! -- 45 days, 7 hours, 28 minutes, 8 seconds
Sawadee Thailand! -- 54 days, 4 hours, 25 minutes, 41 seconds
Take the GRE -- 79 days, 1 hour, 24 minutes, 23 seconds
UIC Application DUE! - 106 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes, 9 seconds

Happy Birthday Kevin Carey!

(Kev on the far right)

Kevin is my first friend in the whole world and I think that fact has meant more to me this year than it has any year before it.

A list of 26 things I admire about Kevin in no particular order:

1. Kevin is competitive in a good way. (It has taken some years to smooth out the edges on this one but you did it Kev!)
2. Kevin is a great listener. He doesn't just nod his head and agree with what you're saying - he thinks about it and will ask you to elaborate if he doesn't understand.
3. Kevin uses his hands in a very distinct way when he talks - especially in front of people - it's really cute.
4. Kevin is well-read.
5. Kevin makes the best BBQ salmon ever. Also shrimp but the salmon has an edge for some reason.
6. Kevin is still holding strong with his love for powdered or chocolate doughnettes after all these years.
7. Kevin writes and plays music and is in a band that's even on itunes.
8. Kevin totally hit the marriage jackpot with Rach.
9. Kevin makes meaningful friendships with nice people (which benefits me directly b/c I in turn get to be around them)
10. Kevin can eat whatever he wants and will still be a beanpole for his whole life (hey this is about things I admire, remember!?)
11. Kevin developed great personal style in college and wears it well.
12. Kevin has a sincerity and humility I think only found in people who have gone through the ringer. He could have chosen to be hardened and angry. Instead he's sincere and humbled. Maybe this should have been the number one thing I admire.
13. Kevin loves him some Jesus and Jesus lovvvvvvvvves him some Kev.
14. Kevin's biggest vice I'm aware of is he smokes cloves. Pretty good for a biggest semi-public vice. Plus, I like enjoying a good clove with him. (Linda and Lee if you're reading this just cool your jets... it's only once in awhile after heavy dinner conversation that needs some porch time follow up!)
15. Kevin is a new blogger! Check out re:birth here.
16. Kevin lets Rachel call him "Snugs" in public with little to no protest.
17. Kevin is fantastic at that crazy weird rabbit wii game where you sit on the board and sled down the slopes. He doesn't even get hung up when you "sabatoge" him with snowballs.
18. Kevin indulges my attempts at being philosophical and/or theological.
19. Kevin also indulges me when I'm being girly or wanting "the scoop" on someone's relationship. He does this by passing me off to Rach haha.
20. Kevin is such a learner! He wants to know a lot, see a lot, experience a lot, etc. His enthusiasm for new stuff is contagious!
21. Kevin is a beloved uncle, brother, and son.
22. Kevin is a loving uncle, brother, and son.
23. Kevin takes criticism well. I kept bugging him that he never responds to my emails or texts quickly enough and there has been a real improvement in that area since I filed my complaint.
24. Kevin is a straight man who loves Glee and isn't ashamed to say so.
25. Kevin appreciates the value of a good nap.
26. Kevin loves God and loves people in a profound way that goes beyond his 26 years of learning how.

Love YOU Kev - Happy Birthday!

Patrick's Visit!

After getting multiple "LAZY!!!!" comments and disappointed text messages from Patrick about me not updating my blog to about the "life changing week he visited" I am FINALLY getting my ducks in a row and posting oodles of pictures from his visit!

We spent the first few days in San Francisco! The first night in we went for drinks at the Cliffhouse which overlooks the ocean and has AMAZING sunset views. Patrick found a friend there...

Then my worlds collided when Patrick met Nibbles! Nora was a wonderful hostess for dinner, drinks, and an overnight at her apartment.

So good of a hostess, in fact, that she managed to find a bar (the oink oink wheeeeeeeee) with sumo wrestlers so now Patrick thinks this is a normal SF occurrence.

Of course Patrick and I started the next day reading at a coffee shop for a few hours before heading over to the Golden Gate Bridge. The WHOLE time leading up to the trip Patrick had this vision of exactly what his Golden Gate picture would be. Facebook profile worthy, perhaps. But we got there and alas... SF fog strikes again...

Bah. He still KINDA got one in!

What you can't tell about this picture is we are at Pier 39 in front of the smelly sea lions. What you CAN tell about this picture is that my arm looks awesome.

Patrick Kelly! Welcome to the mothership!

His and Hers Happy Hour Twofers!

Alas I have left out all of our Napa wine tasting pics. No great ones to share - but we had a gorgeous Napa day with my dad. Took Patrick mostly around the Silverado Trail - to Luna, Stagg's Leap, and Silverado. Also had DELICIOUS "California" sandwiches at Oakville. That night we went out to dinner with my sister's family at the club and then headed up to Tahoe for a few days!

Patrick + Carrie + Tahoe = Perfection. For me, Tahoe is coffee drinking and reading all morning, maybe doing a long work out in the afternoon, and either making or going out for dinner and watching tv by the fire at night. Extremely slow paced, quiet, and productive. No one understands coffee and reading time like Patrick. And now, no one understands coffee and reading and Tahoe time like Patrick :)

Ok, ok... perfection in Tahoe also includes wine or beer at Sunnyside...

Patrick stuck around long enough to celebrate my birthday! I'm not a big blow out birthday kind of person at all, but I seriously had one of the best days this year. We started by picking out a hike to do up off Skyline Drive in the Oakland hills through a redwood grove. SO pretty and just a great day for a hike...

Oh hey.

Dad set us up for massages after the hike which were AMAZING of course. Both of us passed out I'm pretty sure. Then we raced back to the house for my birthday BBQ. Such a fun, silly bunch - longtime family friends, Kev and Rach, Patrick, Geo and Ingrid, the Wassells, Meg... I'm so glad Patrick was there to meet everyone since I have been able to meet so many equivalent figures in his life in Madison.

THIS picture makes me laugh to no end. You go Hannah!

Worlds colliding again!

Aww Meg you look so cute in this pic. You too Patrick, you too.

Ok - haha - I KNOW Patrick is going to cut me for including this picture but I could NOT resist. I guess this explains why you and Meg were just a notch above the rest by the end of the night, eh?

Ending on a cute note... AWW! We are SO cute! We do the best self-takers (well... Patrick does the best self-takers but I help by looking cute and angling my head just so). I think it's fair to say there are few people you actually can spend 10 days with and not want to kill yourself at some point before they leave. Perhaps even rarer would be someone you want to spend 10 days with and put in a bunch of different environments with different people and know they can be so versatile and flexible and wonderful with everything. But that's my Patrick :)