Silly Farang

Talked to the girls for a few hours tonight on Soi Cowboy. Swallowed deep, put on my Thai smile like it's all fine and normal to be hanging out with topless prostitutes.

Brought them fruit - mangoes spiced with red chili flakes, green grapes. Got there before it got too busy, too crazy for them to talk.

One girl said I needed a tan and could come back and work with her.

Two asian men asked how must I cost. How much? How much?

Not for sale.

The same girl who said I need a tan also told me I'm fat and if I stay in Thailand, I'll eat Thai food and get skinny. "Honey if I get skinny like you, I'll also have small tits like yours." She thought that was really funny. And I do too :)

A dad was in one of the go-gos with his 15 years old-ish son. The son looked absolutely terrified.

The mama-sans were nice to me until the clock struck 10pm. Then I was taking up prime real estate in front of the stage and needed to vacate. They were nice then too, but I still had to vacate. She hoped I'd come back and she'd see me soon.

One girl said she had been in Bangkok - which for her means in the bars - for six days. Six months you mean? Six days, she re-confirmed. Then she had to go on the stage.

A girl asked me if I wanted to try what she was eating. I really didn't but did anyway. After I took a cautious bite she told me it was "mou" and puffed up her cheeks. "MOUSE!? Lady, I'm a farang! We don't eat mouse!" She laughed for about five minutes - translated what I said to the other girls (more laughter) and clarified what I had eaten was actually "mouth." A duck's, apparently. Well ok then. That's slightly better. I told her I don't like the bugs they eat from the bug carts either - because the legs get stuck in my teeth. She thought that was funny too. Silly farang.

Waking

Little thrills me more than waking up on the first morning of a trip. So often I arrive under night’s cloak; all my orientation completely off thanks to an extra 50 baht worth of suspiciously circular turns to find our destination on Soi 4. Friday night in Sukhumvit. Alive with “closed” bars – their patrons “finishing up” their beers.

In an effort to clean up the drug trade and mafia activity – and perhaps to curtail international reputation for other surreptitious proceedings – a few years ago, the Thai government mandated that bars in Bangkok close at 1am. Public outcry ensued, causing an amendment to the rule and allowing some bars in some areas to be open later. Unexempt bars now just turn the house lights off, move patrons to the street tables, and serve until clients dissipate. I first experienced this during my 2007 trip when all the lights on a whole strip of bars went dark but my waiter offered me another Singha through his characteristically toothy thai smile.

Back to this morning. My fascination with time is perhaps eclipsed by the phenomenon of travel. Yesterday (or two days ago thanks to the International Dateline), I left San Francisco and today – Bangkok. Clad in what I’m hoping looks bohemian (but in fairness amounts to wrinkled clothes and wild hair) I “sawadee’d” our hotel security, denied “where are you going” taxi drivers, and dodged the morning noodle stands. Appear like you have a destination, adjust bag to front of body, hide eyes behind sunglasses. And look…

Beers at 9am? Really, gentlemen? Breakfast with last night’s courtesan? Well, how decent of you. I see a sign for Starbucks but fight my instincts with a streetside iced coffee instead.

Signs – Massage! Melodies Guesthouse: Nice rooms, Happy bar to make your dreams come true! Tiff Gold Shop. Charming Bar. Nana BTS.

Faces – girls weary from working last night, one older (retired?) woman, red-faced white men with beer bellies, a pimp?

I’m looking for heartbreak but I sense normalcy.

Good Morning, Bangkok.

Making a Mess

On Christmas Eve, I cut my mom off right before she was about to share Jesus with a friend of ours. I threw my hands up between them and told the friend to retreat from the conversation. Why am I afraid of making a mess?

Part of my thinking is I want people to see a different church than the stone they grew up around. A church where they experience freedom and authenticity. A church that's - well - not afraid to make a mess.

What I've assumed about the non-Christians in my life is that they have heard the gospel before. John 3:16 is a tired line that they aren't buying. I’ve been a slave to that assumption.

The reality of Jesus walking on this earth, the profundity of what that means for us, is something they are "happy I feel strongly about" or "glad my faith is important to me." But in processing some of this, I can think of only two friends who have ever asked me what I believe in. And I can think of many more than two friends who I'm not sure *really* have heard about who Jesus is, why He came.

The second part of 2 Corinthians 5 is packed with the gospel message:

Verses 14-15: For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Verse 17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Verse 21: God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Compelling. Convincing. For all. New. So that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

In the same chapter, Paul says "If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you." Maybe you needed to read or re-read those other verses. But that last one is for me today - a call to be out of my mind. A call to make a mess.

2009

The title of this entry is intentionally devoid of adjectives, qualifications, or predilection. I'm conflicted.

My initial and quickest reaction to 2009 is it's a year I am glad to say goodbye to. I've never felt like this before - never felt such a strong readiness for a year to be over. I've been saying things like "I'd be lying if I said it was a great year" or "You know what? It was a weird year."

I lost my job. I said goodbye to friends and closed a chapter on a life I loved. Taylor's baby is dead. Geoff is fighting cancer. My dad's business sucks and watching his discouragement is beyond upsetting. Julie and Darren's financial situation stinks right now. I'm stressed out about getting into school and having no back up plan. The asshole who attempted to rape and murder my roommate didn't take the plea bargain so now we are answering calls from lawyers and getting knocks on our doors from the defendant's legal team three days before Christmas.

So life's hard, is it? I guess I didn't really know that before this year. But I think - I know - I can't throw away what 24 other years have taught me. Life is interesting. Fresh. Full. Unexpected.

I think to how this year started. In Barcelona. And Rome. With friends. Ones I could have never imagined I'd have.

I think to opportunities I had and seized.

And of little moments that are still making me laugh or smile. A blooper reel of sorts:

Meredith's impression of the opossum Liz almost hit...

Unbelievable rainbows over Niagra Falls

Peak-a-boo!

OMG, Disgruntled Boo haha!

By far the cutest picture potential RUINED thanks to Muffin.

Excuse me, sir? I'm trying to read.

Sorry Maus. I couldn't help myself.

You guys think walking through KELLY'S is more scary than walking through Apex?

Am I looking FORWARD to 2010? Sure. For a new niece. In anticipation of a move to a city I can't wait to dig my heels into. For another year of unscheduled weekdays. For the fact 2009 is behind me.

Weekend at Arista

Meli visited us all the way from Paris and I was of course MORE than happy to accept an invitation to spend a weekend at David's parents place near Healdsburg. Arista Winery makes a great flight of wines ranging from a rare-for-Sonoma Gewurztaminer to a few different pinots that are wonderful. Much more important, however, is the hospitality of the McWilliams who are amongst the most generous and warm people I know.

But back to Meli... Melina REALLY wanted an "American breakfast" - and who could blame her when that means bacon and cheese until your blood is practically the consistency of oil!? We met at a diner that totally lived up to expectations. Here's a pic of a very happy and satisfied Meli after we ate:



The McWilliams just got the COOLEST present EVER from a family member that I have dubbed the "Aristamobile" - It's fully equipped with the Arista logo, plenty of cushiony seats, storage, a cd player, and of course a Texas Longhorn or two. David wasted no time driving us around the property and I wasted no time sampling a little vino :)



Pretty oak. Very Annie Liebs.



We also squeezed in a non-wine-related event of going to Armstrong Woods so Melina could see the Redwoods. It was all overcast and foggy which actually was a really cool effect for the trees. You could look up and see droplets of water falling down from wayyyyyyyyyyy up there all the way to the ground. Makes you feel small.


Aside from getting conned into seeing Avatar, it was a great and relaxing weekend that we ate and drank entirely too much. I did get to go to a bunch of new wineries I had never tasted at before such as "J" winery which was probably one of my favorite tastings ever. We did just the champagne flight. So needless to say it was very successful :). Great to spend downtime with Melina too - all too often we are in the craziness of a group. So nice to slow down!

Go NAVY! Beat Army!

Sad. Not there this year.

Resurrecting my post from 2007 - Click here!

And dug up this funny pic from last year's game in Philly. I love how NOT amused Steve is by my sign.

(Muff and Sweeting, do you guys have pictures from that day? I don't know why I have so few. Actually I do. Too many irish coffees! And Lo, I need that cute Army/Navy Towel one of us!)

Gettysburg Address - November 19, 1863

One of my favorite DC things to do was take a good power walk around the Mall. Around halfway I'd charge up the Lincoln Memorial stairs, elbow some tourists out of the way, and detour left to the text of the Gettysburg Address. I'd lean against the second column from the front, pause my ipod, and mouth the words start to finish. The richness and relevancy of these words give me chills.

Some texts can't come alive until you say them aloud; until you feel the rhythm of delivery...

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate... we can not consecrate... we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain - that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that government: of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

TIME time time time

Thanksgiving! -- 11 days 17 hours, 31 minutes, 12 seconds
Done with Prereqs! -- 33 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes, 22 seconds
Happy Birthday Jesus -- 40 days, 17 hours, 29 minutes, 37 seconds
New Years in Madison! -- 45 days, 7 hours, 28 minutes, 8 seconds
Sawadee Thailand! -- 54 days, 4 hours, 25 minutes, 41 seconds
Take the GRE -- 79 days, 1 hour, 24 minutes, 23 seconds
UIC Application DUE! - 106 days, 17 hours, 22 minutes, 9 seconds

Happy Birthday Kevin Carey!

(Kev on the far right)

Kevin is my first friend in the whole world and I think that fact has meant more to me this year than it has any year before it.

A list of 26 things I admire about Kevin in no particular order:

1. Kevin is competitive in a good way. (It has taken some years to smooth out the edges on this one but you did it Kev!)
2. Kevin is a great listener. He doesn't just nod his head and agree with what you're saying - he thinks about it and will ask you to elaborate if he doesn't understand.
3. Kevin uses his hands in a very distinct way when he talks - especially in front of people - it's really cute.
4. Kevin is well-read.
5. Kevin makes the best BBQ salmon ever. Also shrimp but the salmon has an edge for some reason.
6. Kevin is still holding strong with his love for powdered or chocolate doughnettes after all these years.
7. Kevin writes and plays music and is in a band that's even on itunes.
8. Kevin totally hit the marriage jackpot with Rach.
9. Kevin makes meaningful friendships with nice people (which benefits me directly b/c I in turn get to be around them)
10. Kevin can eat whatever he wants and will still be a beanpole for his whole life (hey this is about things I admire, remember!?)
11. Kevin developed great personal style in college and wears it well.
12. Kevin has a sincerity and humility I think only found in people who have gone through the ringer. He could have chosen to be hardened and angry. Instead he's sincere and humbled. Maybe this should have been the number one thing I admire.
13. Kevin loves him some Jesus and Jesus lovvvvvvvvves him some Kev.
14. Kevin's biggest vice I'm aware of is he smokes cloves. Pretty good for a biggest semi-public vice. Plus, I like enjoying a good clove with him. (Linda and Lee if you're reading this just cool your jets... it's only once in awhile after heavy dinner conversation that needs some porch time follow up!)
15. Kevin is a new blogger! Check out re:birth here.
16. Kevin lets Rachel call him "Snugs" in public with little to no protest.
17. Kevin is fantastic at that crazy weird rabbit wii game where you sit on the board and sled down the slopes. He doesn't even get hung up when you "sabatoge" him with snowballs.
18. Kevin indulges my attempts at being philosophical and/or theological.
19. Kevin also indulges me when I'm being girly or wanting "the scoop" on someone's relationship. He does this by passing me off to Rach haha.
20. Kevin is such a learner! He wants to know a lot, see a lot, experience a lot, etc. His enthusiasm for new stuff is contagious!
21. Kevin is a beloved uncle, brother, and son.
22. Kevin is a loving uncle, brother, and son.
23. Kevin takes criticism well. I kept bugging him that he never responds to my emails or texts quickly enough and there has been a real improvement in that area since I filed my complaint.
24. Kevin is a straight man who loves Glee and isn't ashamed to say so.
25. Kevin appreciates the value of a good nap.
26. Kevin loves God and loves people in a profound way that goes beyond his 26 years of learning how.

Love YOU Kev - Happy Birthday!

Patrick's Visit!

After getting multiple "LAZY!!!!" comments and disappointed text messages from Patrick about me not updating my blog to about the "life changing week he visited" I am FINALLY getting my ducks in a row and posting oodles of pictures from his visit!

We spent the first few days in San Francisco! The first night in we went for drinks at the Cliffhouse which overlooks the ocean and has AMAZING sunset views. Patrick found a friend there...

Then my worlds collided when Patrick met Nibbles! Nora was a wonderful hostess for dinner, drinks, and an overnight at her apartment.

So good of a hostess, in fact, that she managed to find a bar (the oink oink wheeeeeeeee) with sumo wrestlers so now Patrick thinks this is a normal SF occurrence.

Of course Patrick and I started the next day reading at a coffee shop for a few hours before heading over to the Golden Gate Bridge. The WHOLE time leading up to the trip Patrick had this vision of exactly what his Golden Gate picture would be. Facebook profile worthy, perhaps. But we got there and alas... SF fog strikes again...

Bah. He still KINDA got one in!

What you can't tell about this picture is we are at Pier 39 in front of the smelly sea lions. What you CAN tell about this picture is that my arm looks awesome.

Patrick Kelly! Welcome to the mothership!

His and Hers Happy Hour Twofers!

Alas I have left out all of our Napa wine tasting pics. No great ones to share - but we had a gorgeous Napa day with my dad. Took Patrick mostly around the Silverado Trail - to Luna, Stagg's Leap, and Silverado. Also had DELICIOUS "California" sandwiches at Oakville. That night we went out to dinner with my sister's family at the club and then headed up to Tahoe for a few days!

Patrick + Carrie + Tahoe = Perfection. For me, Tahoe is coffee drinking and reading all morning, maybe doing a long work out in the afternoon, and either making or going out for dinner and watching tv by the fire at night. Extremely slow paced, quiet, and productive. No one understands coffee and reading time like Patrick. And now, no one understands coffee and reading and Tahoe time like Patrick :)

Ok, ok... perfection in Tahoe also includes wine or beer at Sunnyside...

Patrick stuck around long enough to celebrate my birthday! I'm not a big blow out birthday kind of person at all, but I seriously had one of the best days this year. We started by picking out a hike to do up off Skyline Drive in the Oakland hills through a redwood grove. SO pretty and just a great day for a hike...

Oh hey.

Dad set us up for massages after the hike which were AMAZING of course. Both of us passed out I'm pretty sure. Then we raced back to the house for my birthday BBQ. Such a fun, silly bunch - longtime family friends, Kev and Rach, Patrick, Geo and Ingrid, the Wassells, Meg... I'm so glad Patrick was there to meet everyone since I have been able to meet so many equivalent figures in his life in Madison.

THIS picture makes me laugh to no end. You go Hannah!

Worlds colliding again!

Aww Meg you look so cute in this pic. You too Patrick, you too.

Ok - haha - I KNOW Patrick is going to cut me for including this picture but I could NOT resist. I guess this explains why you and Meg were just a notch above the rest by the end of the night, eh?

Ending on a cute note... AWW! We are SO cute! We do the best self-takers (well... Patrick does the best self-takers but I help by looking cute and angling my head just so). I think it's fair to say there are few people you actually can spend 10 days with and not want to kill yourself at some point before they leave. Perhaps even rarer would be someone you want to spend 10 days with and put in a bunch of different environments with different people and know they can be so versatile and flexible and wonderful with everything. But that's my Patrick :)

DC Visits

I had TWO DC visits in September after 7 months of being away... The first was for Phil and Tiff's wedding!! Such a great way to spend quality time with some of my favorites. It was a very relaxed just have fun kind of wedding - so reflective of Phil and Tiff as individuals and couple!

Loving Tiff's dress!

Pretty lanterns and colors during the first dance :)

Phil and Tiff spent hours upon hours HAND MAKING the centerpieces at each table. I was VERY excited about them as you can see. So excited that I felt it appropriate to take them out of their vases and do a photo shoot, I guess...

Apparently I was not the ONLY one who thought that was a good idea thank you very much!

Group Shot! (You have no idea how difficult it was to get this... Drew kept screwing up every single one and all I wanted was a nice picture of the group for goodness sake. I concluded that Drew was no longer going to be included in group pictures and let him know that this was due to his lack of "original group" status and disrespect for my group shot attempts.)

Great to see everyone that weekend. Even the part when Muffin threw a pillow that knocked a full beer over onto Sean's pants resulting in disgruntled Sean and un-remorseful Muffin. Also the repeated wake up calls called in to Callanan and Lamme's room. I had nothing to do with that, but it's good to know some things never change.

Second DC trip in September was for Secretary Bodman's Portrait Unveiling! It was SO great to see the old DOE crew. Oh how I miss them (them, YES! the time and energy involved... errrrr, no). I loved hearing about what everyone is doing now and just laughing with old friends and getting the dirt about what's going on in Washington now. The Secretary's portrait turned out SO well, don't you think? Makes me miss it all... just a little ;)

Rach and Kev

FIRST - You have GOT to check out Jedd Goble's video montage of the day - it is FANTASTIC! Here's the link.

What you might see in a newspaper announcement:

On Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 Rachel D'Aun Goble of Pleasanton married Kevin George Carey of Lafayette surrounded by many loved ones on a gorgeous evening at Wente Vineyards in Livermore. There is some debate over how they first met, but either way it is clear the couple are very much in love and make a fantastic pair. Kevin and Rachel plan to honeymoon in Italy and Thailand.

The real deal:

The rehearsal dinner was O-mazing. Just a really fun night at Postino thanks to fantastic planning by Linda and MC'ing by Chuck. Lots of funny and heartfelt toasts. Kevin turned sheet-white when I got up there and admitted to embarrassing things about us as kids and he wasn't sure what was going to come out of my mouth. HA! I'm laughing to myself thinking of that exact look on his face.

The day of the wedding all the girls met at D'Aun and Roy's house and did all the pretty princess things like hair and makeup and nails and giggles and gossip. And of course... what's a pretty princess party without food and a bride looking so - um - gorgeous?...


Haha ok was that a mean way to first show off the bride? Well if you had watched the video link it wouldn't be the first you saw now would it!? So unfortunately this is the part of the story that was heartbreaking. Even dudes get why this is the worst thing that can happen to a bride on her wedding day (next to the groom ditching out, I guess... that would have been worse huh Rach?). Ok so here is Rachel first getting on her gorgeous dress at Wente so she can take some pictures and then see Kev. We're all right on schedule at this point...

Notice Rach and D'Aun's faces... something is not quite right. The conversation went something like this:
Bridesmaid Chorus: Oooh, Rachel! Stunning. Love it! Amazing, Gorgeous!
(Dress not quite zipping up, people adjusting it on her to get her to fit just right in it so it will zip...)
Rachel: This is not my dress.
D'Aun/Jen/Bridesmaid Chorus: Nooooo. No, no. That's silly. This is your dress! This is totally your dress. This is your dress, right?
Rachel (still totally composed): This doesn't feel like the dress I tried on in the last fitting. I really don't think it's my dress. The size on the tag is smaller than the one I ordered.
Bridesmaid Chorus: ....... !(@*$@&^@!)(!@*!#&*%$*!(!(!*@*&

And then panic mode ensued involving Clarissa's Couture in Walnut Creek being called multiple times (It was Sunday! They were closed! No emergency number!) and my mom marching down there and banging on the door and asking nearby businesses for backup cell numbers of the Clarissa's people... nothing. A prayer circle began around Rach when the realization that they had given her the right dress fitted for some other bride set in but really... the girl just needed to see Kev. So Kevin (now on Wente grounds also) was summoned into the girls room and marched dutifully in to comfort a still-keeping-it-together-but-a-teensy-bit-emotional Rachel. Rach was a whole new happy girl hand in hand with Kev after that and a fun wedding party toast really kicked off the party :)


Ah, but what did we end up doing about the dress you ask? So the wedding coordinator ended up tracking down a seamstress on her day OFF who raced over and literally LITERALLY sewed Rachel into the dress she had by adding a panel to the back of it and doing a really cool crisscross weavy kind of thing to make it look fantastic. And it did, it looked wonderfully fantastic. Here's a happy Rach patiently getting sewed into her now-custom designed dress...


And then the rest of the day... man... it was just FUN. Rachel's creativity and vision and style came alive in the venue. The boys standing before guests arrived looking at everything gives you a sense of what it all looked like...

Announcing for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Carey! (Love that Emily is giving a big hallllllelujah! haha)

Love this one of the ladies in their post-vow sunglasses. Especially the little girls - the looked SO cute!

Awww... first friends :) Oh ya - forgot to add that Kevin FORGOT the marriage license at home so I made a run and get it in the middle of the reception. What are first friends for?

We danced the night away (which clearly I don't have good pictures of since the camera would have inhibited my hot dance moves!) and all too soon, it was time for Kev and Rach to hightail it OUTTA there in Roy's old Ford that was sufficiently dressed up with streamers and a "just married" sign.

What you don't know or won't read in a paper:

There was something so spiritually RIGHT about this wedding. There was not an un-ugly cry to be found when Rachel walked down the aisle towards Kevin. I have a softness in my heart and fresh happy tears in my eyes when I think about the Goble-Carey wedding because it was - it REALLY was - a blessed day where two very well loved and cherished people in their own right became one very well loved and cherished couple.

I Eat Stories Like Grapes

It took me all Summer to get through East of Eden for two reasons:
1. I forgot it in the back seat of my car before a trip and had 750 pages worth of distraction by a Harry Potter I picked up at the airport as a substitute.
2. From the very first page, I knew it could be one of the very best novels I ever read. So I allowed myself to slow down my eyes, quiet my mind, sit with each chapter, and marinate in its deliciousness.

If you read East of Eden (or should I say WHEN you read East of Eden), may I recommend the Centennial Edition pictured above? It has those serrated and offset pages that feel sacred against your fingertips.

I'm finding it difficult to summarize why I loved it. Or make a pitch for why YOU will love it. Perhaps there are too many possibilities to package. For me, it was the familiarity of the Salinas Valley setting. It was the complexity and honesty and under-explanation of the characters. It was so much history in english. And many, many things in between.

The wonderful thing about East of Eden is almost without exception (I've found one so I have to say "almost"), everyone who finds out that you are reading it clasps their hand over their chest and exhales a huge "OHHHHHHH my god. What part are you at?! Can you believe how evil Kate is?" No actually, I can't believe it. Her sharp little teeth are my favorite representation of her inherent evil. And speaking of, IS she inherently evil? If one of the central messages of the novel is "thou mayest" then she must have chosen that evil right?

"Maybe I will tell you some time when I can tell and you want to hear."
"I'll want to hear," Samuel said. "I eat stories like grapes."
"A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid anymore."