Christmas Hero 2008

On certain Sundays in November

I've always tried to make this blog uplifting and positive - tried not to over dramatize or be inappropriately introspective. November weekends have been filled with a trip to Chicago to see Patrick, a "Campo 02" reunion here in DC with Liz, Ali, V, and Dill, and Ben and Leila's wedding. All fun, all worthy of separate posts detailing the happenings.

I'm feeling that recounting how great something was - while real and true - feels fake. Or at least disingenuous.

And in the same vein, I don't want to post about what is really going on. It's too personal, too much to know that it's all out there for anyone to read. It's not that I'm ashamed or unwilling to discuss these things, but to have no control over who is reading it and when requires more of a comfort level than I'm ready for. Too much vulnerability.

So I'm not really sure when I'll be blogging again. I'm not sure when it will feel okay to write about the good things and not feel like an impostor who is not lending equal time to the unspeakable. I hate duplicity. And right now that is what blogging feels like.

Please be patient with me. I like having a chronicle, but perhaps my inability to write - my silence - speaks loudest about this time in my life.

So truth is...

in a certain feeling of permanence that presses around the moment. They are ordinary people, after all. For a time they had entered the world of the newspaper statistic; a world where any measure you took to feel better was temporary, at best, but that was over. This is permanent. It must be.

Reflections on Election Day - Past and Present

Of the many things Election Day 2008 brought with it, one aspect I was unprepared for was the flood of memories from Election Day 2006. I was in the suburbs of Chicago campaigning for Pete Roskam. I understand why people get addicted to campaigns. What a rush! What a feeling of community - of working TOWARDS something so tangible and with a hard deadline. You work very very hard and play harder. I understand the relief of a campaign being over. No more 16 hour days, no more emotional stress, no more 4 hours of sleep, no more living off of coffee, cigarettes, dunkin donuts, and papa johns. Campaigning is terrible for ones health. The funny thing (and this is true of many things in life I think) is by the time the trail bends around again two years later, you've forgotten all the awful things about it and only remember the great things. Hence, campaign addiction.

On Election Night 2006 I was in St. Charles, IL with Denny and all the staff. We knew it was going to be bad. Very bad. We knew we were done. I think there was still SOME hope though. It's funny how you hold out hope. I remember watching the results come in from the "war room" upstairs at the hotel. We lost the House and therefore our jobs in the leadership office. And yet, Denny won his district again so... the locals were celebrating at his victory party. Surreal! Kate and I had some laughs that night! There were these balloon towers in the lobby for the event and Chris grabs a whole huge balloon tower and is like... "The balloons are coming with me. I don't care what anyone says. I'm taking the balloon tower." Lots of drowning of sorrows in the hotel bar after the party and then later in the suite upstairs. Surprisingly, I feel a strong sense of nostalgia when I think about that night. Something I think only DC people who "get it" can understand. Then waking up the next morning, packing up, heading to the airport. Everyone very quiet, very melancholy. I have this picture of Shea and I at the airport faking a thumbs up with these totally downtrodden looks on our faces.

Fast forward to Election Day 2008. Different, obviously, because of the excitement (or dread as the case may be) for the Presidential election. It took me literally 8 minutes to vote from when I walked up to the precinct to when I left. Record time I think. Last night QB, Beth, David and I grabbed drinks at the St. Regis then headed over to the RNC party at the Capitol Hilton. Yale sang the National Anthem! And what to say of the mood? Hmm. The mood. It was resigned, I think. Resigned is the best word for it. Not sure what else to say on that front.

It was still pretty fun, though! Saw a ton of people from over the years and from a bunch of different offices. This town is SMALL. They announced Mr. Obama's victory.
I got teary, I'll admit. Not so much over the crushing defeat of Senator McCain, but because it signaled - truly signaled - the beginning of the end. David and I looked at each other and embraced.

Halloween Humor

(hold your offense, lefty friends, it's just in good fun :))

Happy Blog Birthday to Me!

Today is my blog's first birthday. I think it is perhaps the only thing I have stuck with throughout this whole year consistently :).

Excerpts

I still arrive in order to laugh and to cry
in order to fear and to hope.
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that are alive.

My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom in all over the Earth.
My pain like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and my pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up
and the door of my heart
could be left open,
the door of compassion.

-Taken from Call Me by My True Names by Thich Nhat Hanh

Trying

I've been trying to write something here for the past week. Trying to summarize what bible verses have encouraged me (Beauty from ashes, Joy instead of mourning, Praise instead of heaviness) or what has been on my playlist (Matt Redman, Elza). Something clean and something to go back to; or start from.

Nothing feels clean, though.

I imagine - I pray - there will not be too many situations in my life where I legitimately have to rely on my entire support system at one time. Northern California, Santa Barbara, Chicago, Michigan, Texas, Boston, Pennsylvania, New York, Washington, DC, Paris. Family, friends, coworkers, church and local communities. All over the Hill, DOE, the WH, NCC. Emails, meals, prayers, phone calls, texts, moving us out of the house and into the apartment. Our neighbors - most we didn't even know - going door to door for people to sign cards and contribute to offset the cost to Rachel's family. We have been overwhelmed; humbled.

I would say things will go back to normal over time but I don't believe that. Normal has been ripped apart and redefined. My false sense of physical security is gone. You can't expect us to live the same. We can't live the same!

I will do the work necessary to come to terms with the images, the fear, the cowardice, the guilt, the relief, the naivety, the questions.

I know what all of this sounds like to you. I know you're worried. Listen - my faith is strong. It has not waivered even for a second. I've laughed and emoted and responded and related. But this... this whole thing... has become unspeakable except to those of us who are nearest to it. Don't you understand that I sensor myself with you!? Don't you understand I can't even SPEAK of what actually happened? Don't you notice I avoid any descriptive detail to the questions you ask? This is for your sake!

I'm sorry. I had wanted this to be encouraging and uplifting and hopeful and restorative. I'm just... not there yet.

Snapshots of Paris

When I realized I'd be in Paris for over a week, it occurred to me it would be the first time I've stayed put in one place (outside of DC) for that long... ever, maybe.

First, we worked...

The Global Nuclear Energy Partnership (GNEP) Ministerial was held in Paris this year. 21 partner countries, 3 inter-government observers, 17 country observers, plus another 25 countries attending. Four new member countries signed the GNEP Statement of Principles and it was agreed upon that China would host the next Executive Committee Ministerial in 2009.


My boss was coming off of a few days for the IAEA in Vienna, so he was a little tired needless to say. He did great, though. It was especially neat for me to see him on the road and around so many of his international counterparts.


Ambassador and Mrs. Stapleton hosted a reception in honor of the Secretary in their home. There were about 75 of us or so. The grounds and rooms are just amazing - it was fun to poke around and look at the rooms and art and gardens. Ambassador Stapleton said a few welcoming words and my boss reciprocated with a very warm, sincere response in which he indicated he had been thinking more and more about how these really are the closing days of his government service and how these amazing opportunities such as staying with the Ambassador or joining his counterparts at these summits are coming to an end. I hadn't heard him express these thoughts very much before. It was touching.

We got the Boss and Mrs. on the plane and wheels up in one piece. Mrs. B told me she was really pleased with how it all went, thanked me for my efforts, and encouraged James and I to relax when they left! That meant quite a lot to me as you can imagine - there were some snafus at the beginning of their trip and James and I decided we really wanted to make everything perfect for our leg. I think it was as close as it could have been. We added some nice touches and they were not unnoticed :).

From the Embassy, hotel, and logistical end - this trip was not without its challenges. We had a brand new control officer who has not quite hit his rhythm yet, so we relied on a few other Embassy folks who were fantastic - Liz and Bridgitte specifically. The hotel was a total nightmare. I have never gotten so spun up to the point of making a scene in my life - but this hotel changed that! We spent hours at that front desk trying to get them to be organized and straighten out the errors. Good lord. Needless to say I am travelocity-ing them and will be one of the many to encourage people against staying there! We loved our drivers - especially Denis - and even Charles who thinks we are all like chickens. Oh and Ludovic of course. He's very sweet.

Second...

We played :). Paris! You're so beautiful! The eiffel tower is blue for 6 months in celebration of France's EU Presidency. At the top of every night hour, it sparkles for about 5-10 minutes.

I should pause and say something about being here with James. It has been a total hoot. We had fun the entire time. I would venture so far as to say we were having TOO much fun for some of the people around us who were stressing on work in the control room. We just had a ball - I don't know how else to emphasize it. We worked hard and played hard and were great partners. Laughing all the way.


I did manage to get away for SOME cultural things aside from eating crepes or passing by the Eiffel or Notre Dame :)! I went to Musee D'Orsay (I went to the Louvre when I was here with Kayti in 2005). I of course got a trusty audio guide and spent an afternoon looking at Renoir, Monet, Van Gogh. We all know that art is always so much more striking in person. But... like... it really is! Maybe this is a silly point to focus on. I'm just trying to say it was beautiful. I loved it.


Photo taken yesterday at LaDuree on the Champ Elysee - famous for its macaroons. Unfortunately we're having major camera difficulties so we don't have photos to show for our walk up to Arc de Triomphe or our gorgeous but cold afternoon strolling around the Sacre Coeur in Montmatre. Just lovely.


My favorite part of all of this has been seeing Yann, Vincent, Melina, and new friend Jeremy. Also I happened to bump into my old DC friend Eric on the street corner - yes, totally random. Yann - who James thought was a model for L'Oreal (he's actually a marketing/arts director)- and the picture above would suggest why that mistake can be made! Anyway I just love Yann. David knows him from when Yann studied at UT. He's wonderful. Sweet, genuine, relaxed... and so hospitable. I'm curled up on his couch right now :). Vincent - my refined Vincent is the best description I've settled on. He's smart and serious and crazy and complicated. And tall. Vincent is very tall haha. Melina - UGH Melina is the sweetest, smiliest girl in the world. She's gorgeous and has no idea. She invited James, David, and I to tea and macaroons at her apartment and was so gracious and excited. She's also ridiculously smart. Jeremy is my new friend through them who had BETTER get his act together to make it to Barcelona for new years! He does what he wants to do - comes and goes as he pleases and makes many jokes but no apologies about his behavior. I love these friends, do you know?

For Heaven only knows why one loves it so, how one sees it so, making it up, building it round one tumbling it, creating it every moment afresh; but the veriest frumps... can't be dealt with, she felt positive, by Acts of Parliament for that very reason: they love life. In the triumph and the jingle... was what she loved; life; London; this moment of June.

Pardon my paraphrasing. And you're right, I'm not in London. But - oh - doesn't this just capture it? Heaven only knows why one loves it so! To love life ... this moment. The toothy crepe guy on the corner of Rue de Grenelle who reminds me he is "still here." The impatient rider who raises the metro door latch before the train stops moving. The sidewalk cafe perch that feels so removed from the whizzing around it. Chipped paint window shades and cast iron balconies The excitement of not knowing what the next corner's turn will look like. The knowing it is time for a change.

La Residence

Last night a drink with my refined Vincent at Comptoir de Sept, at his suggestion. A stroll home past le tour eiffel - sparkling and blue.

Today a friendly knock on Novotel Room 1018. Bienvenue, David. Proof of two things - the whole world is a plane flight away and there is nothing more exciting that being in it with your best friend.

This morning a ride from Denis in the curbside black Peugeot. We crossed Paris quickly, ambling up Saint Honore - Valentino, Laroche, Hermes - pulled into a small driveway in front of a seemingly insurpassable solid iron lion head door surrounded by high moss greened garden walls. The door cracked open - a quick verbal exchange and credential swap - closed again - then swung grandly open to swallow the car from the avenue.

Enter courtyard - cobblestone wet from morning rain - grand staircase to private residence.

Bonjour, Barbara Bush, first daughter, leaving to take in the day.

And make yourself at home, Mademoiselle Carrie, you are a resident on these grounds.

Great Falls and Riverbend National Park

Got my butt up and moving on Sunday morning and took off for Great Falls and Riverbend National Park for a 10.5 mile loop starting at the Riverbend National Park Nature Center and winding down along the Potomac through Great Falls National Park. This was my first hike since the Fall weather has just begun to creep in, so it was absolutely ideal for hiking. The trail went along the Potomac for a few miles and to the outlooks over the waterfalls. I stopped at watched a kayaker climb up the rocks and then ride down the falls - pretty cool. I find my hiking ideas mostly from "60 Hikes Within 60 Miles" DC version and these directions were a little difficult to follow. I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up on some rock scrambles on the riverbed. Whoops. I kept thinking if I just went a little further I would make it to another trail head. This is clearly how people get lost! Anyway the hike should have taken about 5-6 hours but I got 'er done in about 4.5 so I was really proud of myself. My legs are really sore today though!

Proof that Girls are Evil

Haha... Patrick sent this around today. The math part makes my head spin but it still makes me laugh!

New Countdowns Fall 2008!

Leaving for Paris (!!!) in 7 days 21 hours 58 minutes
Columbus Day Weekend in Austin - 22 days 11 hours 1 minute
Chicago to see Patrick!!!!!! - 49 days 23 hours 58 minutes
Ben and Leila's Wedding - 65 days 22 hours 57 minutes
Thanksgiving in Madison (and my first ever 5k race) - 69 days 22 hours 46 minutes
BARCELONA AND ROME FOR NEW YEARS!! - 100 days 22 hours 16 minutes
Unemployment - 124 days 4 hours 52 minutes

Network Blackout

The last email I received today was at 12:38pm. It is now 4:52pm. For someone who receives somewhere around 5 or so emails a minute during business hours... this is absolutely the worst thing ever.

Internet, yes. But it does us no good when we have no email. No access to schedules or contacts. No shared drives. We're absolutely incapacitated.

QB's Dad was one of the West Wing big shots for a former Administration that was in office before all of this email and blackberry business. I had lunch with him not too long ago and asked him - in all honesty - how did they function without email? How did ANYTHING get done in this town before email? He laughed and explained that desks were much more cluttered with memos and phones rang much more often. I like this explanation but my little email-dependent brain still cannot quite grasp how that system possibly worked.

The CIO just confirmed the best case scenario - back online by tomorrow morning at the earliest. You have got to be joking me. Ask me offline what directive my boss gave to the CIO. I heard it and was like... well hopefully THAT will get them moving!

Hope you are having a more technologically functional day!

Silent Amen

Last night a new kid in town asked me what happens around this city on 9/11. Detached, I listed off the options - St. Johns or National Cathedral services, possible monument memorial events, moments of silence in the morning, Pentagon Memorial Dedication with the President and Cabinet Members, Pentagon floodlights once it's dark enough to see them. And it occurred to me that for the first time this year - for the first time in seven years - the city hasn't felt different for these days leading up to September 11th. I haven't felt different. I haven't thought about it with my usual looming nausea.

I've had trouble waking up lately and have been hitting the snooze button a few times a morning before peeling myself out of bed. This morning, though, I woke up before my alarm and peaked out my window at the morning-gold striped clouds... searching, grasping, for a mourning that was just not there. And when I realized it wasn't, and knew how important it is to me that today remains meaningful and alive, I prayed for the privilege of carrying my portion of our nation's grief for one more year.

Tears came following a silent Amen.

I'm not a masochist. It's just that on September 11, 2001, I remember knowing in my very core that I would not - could not - ever be part of the masses that would let it go. I could not be part of the camp that thinks we should not pause on this day every year; that perhaps America's resolve is best displayed by moving on. I see this argument. I see why people think this. But I will not be one of them. Ever. I want my grandbabies to be able to see the same tears well in my eyes 50 years from now that did 7 years ago and do today.

So pardon me if my red striped shirt and lapel pin flag are over the top. Excuse me if "America the Beautiful" from my car stereo on the commute to work is irritatingly loud. Please forgive my inability to pull away from the 24 hour news network images from that morning.

And if I'm quiet, please leave me to remembering Mom waking me up in a panic that morning and pulling me into the study to see what none of us could understand. Allow me to remember what it felt like on September 11, 2002 to walk around the White House when a helicopter passed overhead and stopped every person on the street in their tracks to look up and reassure themselves it was allowed to be there. Let me reflect on Speaker Hastert's speech on the Southeast Steps on 9/11/06 when I really grasped that the Capitol dome overhead and my colleagues who worked inside were still there thanks to the "Let's Roll" attitude of Flight 93. And for today, let it be okay for me to desperately want to remember what I was worried about forgetting.

All the Way My Savior Leads Me

Some things in life take months and years to digest... to come to terms with. Disappointments in life are inevitable. So resiliency is a critical part of character development. I try to live with my toes pointed forward.

But sometimes the present shines its floodlights on the past and for that moment, that which you have kept hidden in secret depths is illuminated. Tonight I am exposed. And sleepless.

But encouraged by this old hymn by Fanny Crosby called "All the Way My Savior Leads Me." You can hear it on Chris Tomlin's new album called Hello Love that was just released this week. An excerpt from his version...

All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside?
How could I doubt His tender mercy?
Who through life has been my guide?
All the way my Savior leads me
He cheers each winding path I tread
He gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living breath

Reads and Tunes

One of my favorite feelings in life is being finished with something. Scratching a to-do item off the list. Throwing away an empty Body Shop coconut milk shower gel bottle. Scraping the end of the strawberry preserves from the bottom of the jar and tossing it into the recycling bin. Turning the last page of a book and being able to move it from my night stand to the downstairs bookcase. I just love the untangled relief and delicious accomplishment that comes with being done.


I finished a great book while I was on vacation called The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. Junot Diaz is an author I read in my creative writing classes in college who I absolutely fell in love with. His first book is a collection of short stories called Drown. Short stories are my favorite writing medium (I say medium because instead of a genre, it feels to me like more of a tool an author artist can use). Short stories require an author to be particularly succinct. You have to say what you're going to say very quickly. And my favorite thing -- your characters have to be enormously complicated and often very bizarre and quirky. The short stories in Drown have recurring characters in the different episodes. The setting bounces back and forth between New York and the Dominican Republic and serves as a teaching tool for the readers who have no previous exposure to DR history and culture. It's beautiful. One thing that is so uniquely Diaz is his use of Spanish in all of his stories. Foreign language is a tricky add-on because there is an inclination to qualify the word with the English translation, which usually winds up slapping your readers in the face. So then you try to make the word make sense contextually, but insulting your readers intelligence is not a good idea either. Diaz unapologetically adds Spanish words and phrases into his writing and makes no attempt at explaining them. You either get it or you don't. It makes me think about all the times he must have heard peer reviewers and editors tell him he should explain the meanings... and how he has had to stick to his guns and refuse to do so. Such confidence.



The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao has similar themes and style as Drown. It's an immigrant family's story. It crosses generations and countries and characters. The full story and family history pieces together as each chapter tells the story from a different character's perspective. The footnotes are laugh out loud funny. It's nice to invest in a story that has been carefully parented by its author.



So now I'm on to Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude. I have admittedly been a little nervous to start it and get stuck in it. Garcia Marquez novels cannot be messed around with! I read Love in the Time of Cholera last August - and LOVED it, don't get me wrong - but it was very dense and requires captive reading! I'm about 1/2 way through One Hundred Years of Solitude and am not quite as captivated with it as I was with Love in the Time of Cholera. But I do like it. And I love how Garcia Marquez's style comes through so strongly. There is always kind of a fantastical element to his writing. One of the characters can't stop eating earth and chips of paint off the garden wall. The man who appeared to be the central character at the beginning of the book ends up being tied by a rope to a chestnut tree in the backyard and lives the remainder of his days there and everyone acts like it's normal and acceptable. What? Garcia Marquez plays with time a lot.. and premonitions. Characters know what is going to happen before it does. Patrick and I had a laugh when I was trying to get the book started - he was like yeah I couldn't get past the family tree on page one. No joke, I had literally picked up the book and tried to start it but got totally stopped on the family tree and put it down for another 24 hours before attempting it again. Each character's name shows up in like 3-5 other characters in the book! UGH! It's so confusing!

I'm trying to listen to new music lately. Thank god for Pandora. I typed in Martin Sexton and came up with a bunch of new songs I love from Colin Hay and Joshua Radin. Waiting for My Real Life to Begin by Colin Hay is one of my favorites - download it if you can. Also I re-discovered Bonnie Raitt's version of Angel from Montgomery. Ugh. It's great. I'd like to see her in concert!



The song I have on repeat the most right now is Find You Waiting by Decemberadio. I've never heard of these guys before, but I really like the lead singer's voice. Reminds me a little of Ronnie Van Zant. I found a neat tribute to our troops with the song in the background. Click here for the video.

I'm not a preacher and I'm not a hero
My life has never been that kind
But there is one thing that I hold on to
I am yours... and Lord, you are mine

Recap

When I got back, Ben asked me if I wished I was still in Tahoe. I said I ALWAYS wish I was in Tahoe! We had a great week - a lot of days lounging by the pool and a lot of nights eating on the patio. All the kids are at such fun ages which makes it especially fun. They're always scrounging for treats! Jacob and I did a doughnut run one morning and of course s'mores over the fire. I went on a hike up to a lookout of the whole lake and spent a good hour sitting up there looking at it. I couldn't make myself leave and was trying to decide if there is anything more beautiful in the world than those mountains and that lake. I've seen beautiful places... I would put Capri, Manuel Antonio, Stellenbosch, Lucerne, Hayman Island and Zanzibar on the top of my list of most beautiful places I've been. I really don't think any of those are as majestic as Tahoe.

Psalm 97 says that mountains will melt like wax before the Lord of all the earth. Can you imagine?

I got back last weekend to a broken air conditioner. Yuck. Last weekend I spent most of my time with the boys - I'm trying to get as much Patrick time in as possible before he leaves for Chicago! Boooooo.

Monday-Wednesday I was in El Paso, TX and Las Cruces, NM for work. Unfortunately the trip ended up getting cancelled for my boss so Erin and I came home early. Kind of a bummer but it was fun while it lasted - we ate a LOT of Mexican food and took advantage of the "Texas Twister" water slide at our hotel. Apparently it's the longest water slide at any hotel in Texas. How 'bout THAT!?

This weekend is another in towner. I went to QB's housewarming last night which was fun - he found an awesome house on the Hill. I had to laugh though because I totally showed up in jeans and a tank top and all the other girls were in cute little sun dresses and the dudes were wearing their pink pants and powder blue oxfords. I was like WHOOPS I totally forgot this is a southern folk party! They're all soooo nice though - I really like QB's friends. A little part of me was meant to be southern I think :)

One more week of August left! I can't believe it.

Off to Texas and New Mexico!

Back from a great vacation in Tahoe... now off to Texas and New Mexico for work! Be back with updates then. Have a good week!

Off to Tahoe!

Going to Tahoe for some R&R at the cabin with the fam... be back in a week!

August in DC looks like this...

Ha. August in DC. Very conflicted about August in DC actually. It comes and the entire city breathes out this huge sigh of relief. Bosses gone! Normal people hours! Legitimate lunch breaks! Then by mid-August it's like... bah. It's hot. I'm bored. I want things to happen again.

Right now I am in YAY IT'S AUGUST mode for sure. Flip flops at work ALL day (instead of just when the boss is gone). I had a sit down lunch today at Elephant and Castle! And it's 4:15pm which means only 45 minutes left of work. Loving life.

take these broken wings and learn to fly

Screen on the Green

Every Monday in mid-late summer, HBO sponsors "Screen on the Green" on the Mall at sunset. Everyone comes out after work, brings blankets and pillows and picnics, and hangs out until it gets dark enough for the projection on the screen to show up. They start with a Looney Tunes Cartoon followed by an old movie.


Last Monday, Shane, Sweeting, Bobby, and I saw Arsenic and Old Lace with Cary Grant. What a funny little movie! I remember watching it when I was little at one point -- or maybe I saw the play version. Anyway, it was an absolutely gorgeous night (and I should note it has been a remarkably great summer so far weather-wise) and it's just really a fun summer public event. Yay DC for having cool (and free!) stuff like this.

Drums of Africa

My dear old friend (and semi-sister :) ) Beri Shaffer is beating me to Uganda this Fall! I just added her blog to my blog roll -- check it out here. She will be volunteering with an orphanage called Amani Baby Cottage (is that right, Ber?). Given my charge to go to Uganda it's pretty neat to see how God is commissioning others as well. Something must be happening there... so excited for Beri that she will be a part of it!

Remembering Tony Snow

Tony Snow's funeral was yesterday at the Basilica of the National Shrine of Immaculate Conception in DC. It was open to the public - which seems enormously appropriate given what kind of guy Tony was. The President gave remarks - here are my favorite excerpts:

In a life that was far too brief, he amassed a rare record of accomplishment. He applied his gifted mind to many fields: as a columnist, newspaper editor, TV anchor, radio host, and musician. He had the sometimes challenging distinction of working for two Presidents named Bush. As a speechwriter in my Dad's administration, Tony tried to translate the President's policies into English. As a spokesman in my administration, Tony tried to translate my English into English.

Tony Snow, the professional, is a hard act to follow. Tony Snow, the man, is simply irreplaceable. Everyone who worked with him quickly grew to love him. We will always remember his wry sense of humor and abundant goodness. We'll also remember he was just a lot of fun. After all, he played six different musical instruments and was a proud member of a band called Beats Working. He may be one of the few people in history to have jammed on the South Lawn of the White House and with Jethro Tull.

The day Tony was born was also the day that many of his fellow Catholics pay tribute to Saint Justin. Justin was also a gifted thinker and writer, and a powerful witness for the Christian faith. Because of his beliefs, he suffered many times of trial, and in the year 165 A.D. he was arrested. Before he received a sentence of death, he was asked: "If you are killed, do you suppose you will go to heaven?" Justin replied: "I do not suppose it, but I know and am fully persuaded of it." Tony Snow knew that, as well. That brought him great peace. When talking about the struggle he waged so admirably, he said that no matter how bad times may sometimes seem, "God doesn't promise tomorrow, he does promise eternity." And so today we send this man of faith and character and joy on his final journey. Tony Snow has left the City of Washington for the City of God. May he find eternal rest in the arms of his Savior. And may the Author of all creation watch over his family and all those who loved him, admired him, and will always cherish his memory.

At the time Tony Snow started his second stint at the White House in May 2006, I was finishing up my internship with Mrs. Cheney. I remember how excited people were to have him; how fresh he looked on the podium. I always thought he was so handsome and dapper (a Jon Shaffer or Tim Ganey if you will :) ). About a week into his arrival, I was standing in the doorway of EEOB 200 on my way to do an errand and as I bounced out into the hallway I nearly walked straight into him. I recognized him immediately as he looked up and we exchanged apologies for our near-collision. I took advantage of the opportunity to welcome him to the White House to which he replied with a chuckle and a "Thank you, damn good to be here." (That's one of four "almost ran into" stories that I'll never forget from that internship).

At the politicals rally in February 2007, Tony warmed up the crowed at DAR before Mrs. Bush and the President came out. His enthusiasm and energy matched his reputation. I was definitely NOT prepared, though, for him making the Cabinet Members START THE WAVE in Constitution Hall. He was like - let's go guys! David and I were like OH my gosh our bosses are starting the wave. It was seriously priceless.

I remember seeing him on TV or at an event after the cancer had aged his hair and stolen some of the color from his face. Still, I didn't know he was so close to the end, so waking up to a text from David last Saturday with the news was pretty shocking. However peripherally, I'll remember him well... shuffling down the white and black checkered drafty EEOB hallway in his pink button down with rolled up sleeves and glasses on the tip of his nose pouring over a memo. Youthfully bright eyed, smiling.

Elvira

Animal Vegetable Miracle

I just finished the final pages of "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle : A Year of Food Life" by Barbara Kingsolver. Kingsolver is a novelist probably most known for "The Poisonwood Bible" but AVM reads more like a memoir. The premise is this - Kingsolver's family moved from their home in Arizona to a farm in southern Appalachia where they resolve to eat only what they can grow themselves or buy locally for a year.

The book touches on many topics and ideas ranging from what to do with a billion zucchinis in July to Turkey sex to making your own cheese to challenges faced by small farms. The big picture idea is we as a culture have gotten so far away from where our food is coming from - we don't know who is growing it or how and where it's grown. So much so that the idea of something being "in season" is irrelevant since we can just import the off-season strawberries from Chile or California. Kingsolver makes the point that aside from the health benefits of eating sustainably grown local food, by buying local we effectively use our consumer power to cut out our share of the gas being used to fly in bananas in from Central America or oranges from Florida.



Sewn into the main text of the book are "focus on issue" boxes from Kingsolver's partner Steven Hopp and essays/recipes from her oldest daughter Camille. They give kind of a how-to or commissioning to readers to get involved in some of the topics they discuss. One that I really grabbed onto is CSAs (Community Supported Agriculture). I have friends in DC who have done this kind of co-op with the local farmers before, but I didn't really understand how they did it or who it was through. Local Harvest is a web page that you can use to plug in your zip code and a bunch of farms in your area who participate in CSAs pop up for your perusal. I found Orchard Country Farms through that and contacted them about possibly signing up for what's left of summer. Typically CSAs run from about May through October, so given it's July I am behind the curve :). Nonetheless, I got a quick response from Gregg and Louise Keckler (owners of Orchard Country) saying they have room and I can still sign up for the two remaining 8-week sessions they have available this season.

The way it works is this -- you can sign up for one, some, or all of the sessions throughout the season as a shareholder. You can either sign up for a large share (for about 3-4 people) or small share (1-2 people) and the cost for a small share ends up being $170for the 8-weeks, so just over $20 a week. The farm is in Gardners, PA but there are a few pick-up spots around DC you can pick your bounty up each week. For me, I chose the Department of Transportation Farmer's Market on Tuesday. I met Gregg and his son Oliver when I picked up this week -- I didn't have much time to chat so I'm hoping I can get a better sense of their heartbeat next time. So they give you a cooler of your fruits and veggies for the week that you bring back the next week and voila! Community supported agriculture. This week I got: apricots, cling peaches, black raspberries, blueberries, swiss chard, zucchini, summer squash, green beans, sweet onion, and eggs. For $20 bucks? And supporting local small businesses? And getting the best of the best? I mean... that's a deal no matter how you shake it.

I know, I know... so hippy dippy of me right? I don't think so actually. What's more empowering than knowing exactly where my money is going? Or supporting hard work by good people? And getting an excellent product? What is the downside of making consumer decisions that work for me and don't compromise the environment? As I started thinking about organic or local foods and supporting the vendors who sell them (including our great organic market on Pennsylvania Ave SE), it's not so much that I feel different physically, but there is really something to be said about it just being good for the soul. I know the guys at the organic market - they're nice. They make me feel appreciated and helped (unlike the guy at Safeway on 14th SE who literally made me count the products in my basket to make sure I was under the "limit" last week - are you kidding me?). I started talking more to the vendors at Eastern Market. I look forward to getting to know Gregg and Louise. By buying local food, I appreciate tenfold its colors, shapes, flavors. By investing in my community, I feel more a part of it. More to come.

Dr. Granville Moore's

Last week I went to Dr. Granville Moore's Belgian Beer and Gastropub with Shane and Sweeting. What a neighborhood diamond in the rough is that place! I was about to say neighborhood secret but it's definitely NOT a secret since the buzz about it started going around DC and then the Food Network show "Throwdown with Bobby Flay" definitely fueled that fire. Shane, Sweeting and I went on a Wednesday night around 8:30pm - not dinner primetime, right? Wrong. We had to put our names in and went down the street for a drink to wait for the guy to call us when our table was ready. There wasn't much room to stand and wait in the restaurant and it was rainy/hot outside so it's nice they are willing to call. Anyway here's the story... the restaurant is located in the former doctor's offices of Dr. Granville Moore who apparently did a lot of pro-bono work and was widely respected in the H St. community. They gutted the place and kept the name and the really cool part is they didn't go back and refinish anything. The decor is exposed brick and half painted walls... pipes in the ceiling. It has a LOT of character to say the least!


Our very attractive flirtatious waiter was knowledgeable and pointed us in the right direction around the huge imported belgian beer list. The main fixture of the food menu is the Moules (mussles) which you can order in about 6-8 different ways. The frites and dips are popular too. I highly highly recommend this place - I'm telling you, the Atlas district is taking off thanks to awesome finds like this one. I'm a little concerned that they are not quite equipped to handle their increasing popularity, but those kinks will be ironed out in time. I for one will definitely be back!

Deep Thoughts at the Gas Station

8:18am this morning I pulled up to Sunoco and started pumping the $4.21/gallon gas in my car. I noticed the "up to 10% ethanol in this gas" sticker; very new and shiny against the chipping paint and pealing graphics on the pump. When I first got my car in January, it cost $40 to fill up my tank. Now I am hitting around $53. So I'm standing there pondering how the 10% ethanol is eroding the rubber tubing of my car motor but it's good for the environment and pursuit of independence from foreign oil so I'm ok with that trade off. I think about how $13 extra dollars a tank due to rising gas prices should in no way be referred to as a national crisis worthy of releasing the SPR. I'm thinking this as a dreadlocked beanie hatted dude filling up his delivery truck turns to me and says - "The people in this country need to stop complaining about these gas prices. Shut your mouths, fill up your tank of gas, and go to work. Go to the store with the money you make from work and get your cereal and milk. You think other people around the world have that luxury of going to the store for their cereal and milk? NO! They're standing in long lines for their one bowl a day of U.N.-provided oatmeal." I was like... whoa! Amen, brother! A voice of reason from an unexpected source. Deep thoughts at the gas station this morning.

Fourth of July

My favorite holiday EVER (and my niece's birthday... Happy 5th Bday Hannah!). I had gotten in from Wisconsin pretty late on Thursday night, but got up bright and early at about 5am on Friday to drive out to Monticello in Charlottesville, Virginia to attend the annual 4th of July Naturalization Ceremony on the back lawn. President Bush was invited to give the keynote speech for the ceremony and since Erin was doing press advance for the event and snagged me and her family great VIP seats, I couldn't pass it up :). I got there just before 8:30am per what I THOUGHT were my instructions but as it turned out 8:30am was like the drop dead cutoff to get a shuttle up to the event. So all the Monticello people were like... nope, sorry, secret service cut it off. I was like just you wait Monticello people! Erin Brady pulls through and about five minutes later a lady comes down and says "get in the bus!" Sweet.

Erin in action...

The event was so awesome. We were third row VIP section right behind Secretary Don Evans and next to the group of 72 people who were becoming citizens that day. There were probably 1200 people on the lawn in total... flags, red white and blue, a really great patriotic band, and gorgeous weather. There are always chills before the President comes out for a speech and this was of course no different.


So to have him there welcoming the new citizens on our Nation's birthday.. to be looking at all of their different skin colors and clothes and ages... and thinking about how each of them have a story about getting here and going through everything they did to become Americans... it chokes me up. It really does.


Citizens taking the oath...

Despite a rain downpour and second guess or two while in line, a bunch of us got to go to the White House for fireworks that night! It was pretty neat, I'm not going to lie. I have lived in DC for six years now and this is my FIRST 4th of July in the city so it was definitely cool to be at the White House for it. We ate ice cream and trolled for souvenirs (the 4th of July at the WH cups were hot on the market) and showed Keylin and Marco the Oval Office and Rose Garden, etc. I thought Marco was going to faint when the President came out on the balcony and everyone sang Happy Birthday. Fun to be able to share something like that with our Venezuelan friends!

Side note -- David captured the perfect picture of what it looks like when Patrick and I are being what he calls "excluge" haha. We just get in these intense conversations and they are NOT for interlopers! What else can I say?!


I love July 4th. It's picnics and sun and flags and songs and BBQs and patriotic. It's a holiday completely independent of consumerism, materialism, or family angst (which I am lucky enough to say is always at a very minimum with my family but think it worth mentioning since so many holidays are dreaded because of it). Instead it's a reminder of who we are and where we came from, it's a celebration of that history and future, and it's just plain fun. I'm cheesily proud to be an American and am totally secure in that.

Behind!

I'm behind in blogging -- working on catching up! In the meantime... how cute is this picture!? I want the one on the far right.

Madison

Ah the long awaited Madison trip. Let me see if I can run through it and do it justice!

Bobby, Patrick, and I met up at National on Thursday evening after work, celebrated with a beer at that gross little Sam Adams Pub in Terminal A, had a short delay, and took off. We found out David was probably not going to make it to WI that night so we were concerned about rental car and coordination, etc. So as Patrick and I were frantically on our blackberry/iphone trying to figure out bus schedules and what-ifs, Bobby calmly continued reading his paper, glancing up only to say "it will work itself out." YEAH Boober... if people work it out FOR you!

We got to Milwaukee and drove to Madison without David since he got stuck in Cleveland for the night. We snuck up on Linda (Patrick's mom) and then surprised everyone else at Christy's, the bar next to Linda and Craig's house. We caught up pretty fast and sang and danced and talked until late... a very fun way to kick off the weekend!

Friday morning we got up and took a "putt-putt" out on the lake. Linda and Craig live on Lake Waubesa and it was SO beautiful and relaxing to wake up to such a great location. We picked up David from the airport and ended up spending most of the day at the Union at UW-Madison playing cards with Patrick's dad Bill. My favorite picture of a disgruntled David for losing like five times in a row...

Had dinner that night at Patrick's favorite Madison restaurant called The Old Fashioned. Cheese curds, Spotted Cow, and even a hamburger with egg on it. Weird! Awesome. We went out in Madison with Patrick's brother Cory and a bunch of his friends that night. Somehow in the course of the night David convinced all of us to leave our crowded, loud, FUN bar we were at to go to some bar called Woof where we were literally the only people in the place. Not sure how that happened but whatever... it was fun anyway!

Saturday we put on our Little Vito and the Torpedoes custom t-shirts (thanks to Cory!) and headed out to Rhythm and Booms. We had to wait out a thunderstorm for a little while in the cars, but then the sun came out and the rest of the day was awesome.


See if you can figure out the back of Patrick's shirt (don't feel bad if you can't... it took Aunt Flo like a thousand tries)


Rhythm and Booms is an annual July 4th event where they set up a big stage in a park and have bands come and play along with a fireworks show. We had the BEST time! Tons of ladder golf and sun bathing during the first few bands (one of which was a great Beatles cover band... totally my kind of thing!) and then VERY aggressive dancing and singing when Craig's band Little Vito and the Torpedoes played. They were so good! I knew they were going to be, but seriously they were great. Craig is amazing on the guitar and Joanna has a bad mammajamma voice. I half-joked that I found my wedding band!

Sunday we had brunch with Bill and then headed back to Linda and Craigs for the main event... the CORN TOSS TOURNAMENT! Linda set up a huge tent in the yard and made a bunch of food and a ton of friends and family came over to play. I was paired with Patrick and we of course crushed Team David and Flo, but ended up losing after that.

Team David and Flo...

None of that mattered though BECAUSE I had started the day by telling Patrick my "Wisconsin Fantasy" -- make all three bean bags in the hole in one turn. It was going to be epic. It was going to be monumental. It was going to be difficult and take a lot of focus. And I kid you not... my Wisconsin Fantasy came true. Total moment of crowning glory. I was so excited.

Game faces from the side lines!!! Patrick's oldest brother Josh and his wife (new bff) Stef are on the left...

Corn Toss tournament ended but the night went on and on... talks on the back porch, more informal corn toss games, dancing to "DC music," card playing. I should include that Bobby took this year's "Lake Waubesa's Next Top Model" title and was crowned appropriately. Too fun! Can't wait for next year.
The rest of the week was great... very relaxing. Enjoyed the lake and dominoes with the family and bike riding and playing the crazy bugs slots with Flo. The best and most unexpected part of the week though was getting to go to Milwaukee Summerfest with Flo and Linda before I left! It was CRAZY! Summerfest is like 14 days of nonstop music in downtown Milwaukee. There are about 6 big stages along with tons of booths and food and drinks right on Lake Michigan. It's only 10 bucks to get in for the day and you can just wander from stage to stage to see people play. We spent a long time watching this great cover band in one of the tents but the total highlight was going to Creedence Clearwater Revisited. Linda elbowed our way to about the third row and it was just SO great. They played absolutely everything... Proud Mary, Grapevine, Fortunate Son, Suzie Q, Green River, Bad Moon Rising, Lodi, Down on the Corner, Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Travelin' Band, Lookin' Out My Back Door, Who'll Stop the Rain, Long As I Can See the Light... EVERYTHING!

The week was just perfect. I can't say enough for how much I loved meeting all of Patrick's family and friends and how welcoming and giving they all are. I owe Linda and Craig a huge thanks for opening their home and spending time feeding and cleaning up after us! Bill is always so generous with us and has arguably fed me more this year than my own parents have :). I learned a lot about Patrick and put so many names with faces. I don't know how, but the trip exceeded expectations. It's refreshing to be reminded that every family is so different from the next but love is a big enough thing to cover all the unique complexities. Pretty remarkable.

Oops.

Kim is a Speedo Girl!

I don't keep in touch with my High School girls NEARLY as much as I should but I can't tell you how cool it was to get the Speedo catalog with Natalie Coughlin (another Lafayette girl) on the cover and Kim Vandenberg with a TON of spreads in the catalog. She looks gorge as always :)

Kim is top seed going into 200 Women's Fly in 2008 Olympic Trials next week in Omaha. I think she swims in prelims on Wednesday, July 2nd so hopefully they'll be broadcasting it on TV. The Campo girls will definitely be routing her on from all over the US. Super exciting!

Catoctin Mountain and Spices

Couldn't resist this totally vintage picture I found searching "Catoctin Mountain" on google images. It screams, "Hey KIDS! Respect your National Parks and don't start forrest fires!" Anyway that picture is where I ate lunch on my hike on Saturday. I found the hike in my 60 hikes in 60 Miles of Washington DC book and it was perfect! Catoctin Mountain is out near Frederick, Maryland - so a good hour and 15 mins or so from DC. The trail I took was actually a bunch of various trails combined to make a 9 mile loop back to the visitors center. I saw a waterfall, three or four vistas, and even a deer. The trail was busy enough where I didn't feel unsafe (I was alone) but not overcrowded to the point of not having any solitude. This part of the country is just so beautiful - and in a very different way than California.

I had been craving good sushi for awhile so Saturday night I went to a great spot called Spices up in Cleveland Park with Lauren, Remi, Anna, and Anna's roommate Dustin/Dylan (I never got it right the whole night... whoops). Anyway I definitely got my sushi fix for awhile. Highly recommend the restaurant.

Sunday - Nats Game with Patrick, Bobby, and David (thank you AIR!); REI run with Patrick to get him a GPS run tracking thing followed by reading at Caribou; and Gone Baby Gone movie night. Gone Baby Gone was really... complicated. I liked it. Any plot that circles around gray area ethics has good potential to keep me interested.

Now back to work for a few days, then MADISON!

Buzzard Hill Hike

Last Saturday morning Shane, Lauren, Sweeting and I drove out to the Virginia/West Virginia border to hike a part of the Appalachian Trail called Buzzard Hill. It's about a 9.0 mile trek, 4 difficulty, 3,020 feet elevation gain. We went early so we'd beat the weather and were expecting thunderstorms in the late afternoon. So we're hiking along and I'm semi-keeping up. Shane is a speed demon and I'm out of shape soooooooooo that was not the best match up. I was holding my own until a ridiculous grade just zapped my energy. It was hard! The trail was rocky and steep! I kept going, but had the other three go ahead so I could go at my own pace. SO we end up agreeing they will continue and I'll start going back (we were almost to the end and I wanted a head start). Well at about 2:00pm or so I'm guessing, I start hearing thunder... and the woods start getting very very dark... and the wind starts howling. Pretty soon there is incredibly intense lightning, thunder, and ultimately a complete flood of rain. I'm like OH. MY. GOD. Haha it was seriously kind of scary! So I'm just saying to myself... Carrie, keep moving! Meanwhile a few Appalachian Trail hikers are speeding by me with their high tech boots and hiker poles and ponchos and are asking me if I'm okay and have everything I need. I look down at my gym clothes and sneakers and little dinky $10 Reebok backpack (if you can even call it that). Mmm hmm. Yep. Doing just fine! An hour and a half later, the storm subsides and I make it back to the lookout to wait for Shane, Lauren, and Sweeting to catch up. They do a bit later and get this... so Lauren grabbed for a tree to steady herself as she was going down hill. She saw a flash of light go into her hand and her arm went numb for a few minutes! We think that tree was about to get hit by lightning and she took the counter charge out of the tree! CRAZY! We saw a fallen tree on the way down to the parking lot that had a full bolt of lightning go straight through the trunk. It wasn't split or anything, just straight through from the top to bottom. Weird. Anyway we made it home and took long hot showers... we were pretty gross!

Sunday was ANOTHER concert at Nissan. Tim McGraw -- beautiful day, great weather, fun time with friends. We have a couple weeks break now until Brad Paisley.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

So for the second weekend in a row (and next weekend will mark the THIRD) I trekked out to Nissan Pavilion for what ended up being one of the best shows I have ever seen hands DOWN.

The weather last weekend was near-record breaking. Apparently some of the hottest June weather we've had here since like the late 1800s or something like that. REALLY... really... REALLY hot. So tailgating was more of a stand-in-the-little-speck-of-car-shade-and-drink-water concept. When the sun went down the temperature did not really drop, so we resigned ourselves to the sweat and being part of the sold out crowd. At one point during the concert, Petty was like "well how appropriate to be playing here on a hot Southern night." Crowd went wild.

The concert was just so good. I feel like I'm being annoying with how much I'm raving about it, but it was just SO good! The sound was great. There was a LOT of aggressive dancing going on.


He played so many of our favorites - Mary Jane's Last Dance, Won't Back Down, Even the Losers, Free Fallin', Honey Bee, Rebels, You Don't Know How it Feels, Learning to Fly, Don't Come Around Here No More, Refugee, Running Down a Dream, American Girl... I was only really sad about not hearing Wildflowers :(

Muffin and I kept shaking our heads and commiserating that we were born in the wrong music era. Pretty awesome we still get to see some of these legends while they're still around and touring!